Saturday, November 30, 2013


The night is inky and even the street lights have been shut out of my bedroom as the darkness of the night has somehow enveloped them. I assume the whole neighbourhood is sleeping because the silence is deafening . Lena is sleeping in my living room couch and I am wide awake. Images flash. 
We are in the kitchen and he is teaching me to make dosas. So many misses, finally i got it right.It's round and not broken. That was a moment.
Then the other day I just follow his advice and reverse park the car in the tiniest space. He had taught me how to do that and yesterday I did it without him . 
And slowly I realise that he is gone for good. 
Sometimes all you get out of a relationship is to learn to make dosas and park a car. 
At least that is better than nothing. 
Good night ! I am sleepy now .

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

An eating marathon n Amma's birthday

I woke up to Kamia's phone call."Today is a special day",she says.
OMG! My mother's birthday, I almost forgot and the day I also got married which any way has no significance now . I realise that I was running late and from then on it was a whirlwind of action and non stop eating  - day at the plant with my boss and team , strategy sessions, meetings, semiya khichdi, oranges, plant tour, chicken roll (2nos), con call , half biriyani,bournvita (2nos ),carrot cake,banana cake , presentation , car ride back home, wheat pulao at home and now plonked in front of the TV trying to blog on my phone and wanting to lose at least 5 kgs to start with.
Seriously that's me for you today !

All grown up now :-)

This was on my birthday. Another restroom hug.

The best kiss ever 

Playing the proper horlicks mommy ;-)

Just happy :-)

Our cheap bonding rings 

Kamia's birthday get together 

The cheesy temp tattoo-like hand drawing- NK

Monday, November 25, 2013

Mixed Emotions

  I don't know what made me come here after years. I look at this blog which was my life at one point and just couldn't connect the dots . Mixed emotions :-(
I am different today,  very much from the woman in these pages. In fact I think she is dead and instead of her there is this new me, not so naive but on her own . Biju is gone . I can't believe we loved each other at one point . Now there is a soft shell that could be anything - like how you would feel about a distant cousin and absolutely no hate. Bye bye Biju ! 
Kamia continues to be the love of my life and I will always be kammommy which is a relief. She is 8 years old now and intelligent and smart. She has always been a mamma's girl and she is still.
I have stopped writing like before and now I am stumbling over words like a blind person. I am stuck ! 
The good news is I am happy in spite of everything :-) and writing this on
( not my best pic but this is how I look now ) 

my mobile which is kinda exciting .
So you will hear more from me . Bye for now ! 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Glimpses of 2010 - Kam +Mommy

kamia with her favourite photo face :-)

Just like daddy

At the Cinderalla play with her prince whom she kept fighting with

Fancy dress - Lola kutty

Just for mamma :-)

Princess in nightdress

Kamia's doodle

Project at school- My baby has a garden in her hands

Fake sleeping pic

Birthday girl

At Cascade her fav chinese restaurant

Just Us...happy with each other

My phone wallpaper


Sigh baby is all grown up...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

One sad pizza pls ...

She is so miserable that she decides to take solace in a huge barbeque
pizza . Calls Just Dial... "we can get you anything ", he says. "can
you get me free hugs " , she asks ... "sorry ma'am I don't get
you" ... And so she settles for the pizza
Sent from my iPhone

Friday, June 04, 2010

Pancake woes

It's almost 7.30 pm and I am going through the most disgusting
experience of my life . As I am punching on the keys to update you, he
is rubbing pan cake on my face and his breath is rancid near my face.
I hold my breath and try not to breathe the same air. A small spit
bubble lands on my face... I cringe and rub it . "stop talking you
as&;:/' , next time you saliva spray ... Am gonna fucking punch you' ,
I want to say but I don't . I just let it pass...meanwhile the hair
guy is styling my hair... I feel drained ... Dead. Exactly in 30
mins , I will be facing the camera ...bright lights... My hair near
perfect and face bright and smiley and some people will call me n tell
me that they watch my show everyday , they are my fans, some like my
clothes... One or two want to love me... I will flirt and giggle with
them till the producer says "pack up" and then I will sink into the
arms of tiredness without the pancake ....
Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Horror story between the sheets !!!

Enlightenment …

She is immobile sitting on the dirty mosaic floor like a rotund lotus. Her pyjamas are slightly up and I spy wiry hair runny amok. Cant she at least wax, I think She is in a trance supposedly meditating, there is TV blaring in the corner and Yudy is asking lustily “Love ya Cash”. Take the cash , I mumble. A beep. Message from HDFC stating balance in account has gone below the specified limit. Meanwhile, she is chanting Om …..…Aummmmmmmmmmmmm.

Eyes still closed, she lifts up both hands in a namaste position. I try not to look but couldn’t help. Underarms matted with thick curly hair that’s never ever seen a razor or hot wax. I try to avert my eyes in vain and had to when I felt the Osho hanging on her bosom in a bead chain looking at me with reprimand. Her muddy coloured kurtha and feet lined with coarse lines do nothing good to her.

When she finally wakes up, Yudy has disappeared and there is non stop hits playing non stop, and I am on a food marathon digging into the second packet of Lays after eating breakfast. “Hey , listen I’ll get you some nice kurthas” I tell her. Her eyes lit up and say “Really girl that would be nice”.

At the shop, we are having a battle of tastes. I goad her to try the reds, blues and yellows…She needs colour . But she prefers dull saffron, browns and greys. Finally she wins and we go the dressing room to try them all. My top comes off easily while she is struggling and wriggling to take hers off. I stop and help. My eyes inadvertently fall on a bosom- a criss cross of maroon marks from the top trailing down . “Are’nt these love bites I ask”. She blushes with the kurtha still stuck on her arms.

I just pull her out and say “Come, come , lets go!”. She looks at with me little irritated “But I thought you were buying me the kurthas”. Babe trust me , you just don’t need them considering you are getting all that action …I think grumpily and enlightened and a little voice inside my head chants..Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

With Uma , my stylist ...

Yipee ... Blogging via e-mail's been a while now. I almost forgot about you until ppl
started reminding me of you through facebook... So I am determined to
keep you alive ...tell you stuff...but you will have to wait another
day ... Giving you random slices from my life.. Partying, VJing n
hanging out with frens, Kam etc ... Missed you

Ooops can't figure out how to attach pics .... Why am I so technically
challenged ? So guess you wil have to wait for the pics as well n I
promise I am gonna blog every single day of my life...amen to that

Sent from my iPhone