Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Does anybody hate Rock On?

I think Rock On is the most unrealistic and boring movie I’ve seen in a long time. It is just damn boring. Most of the characters are unidimensional except for Debbie. She is the only saving grace and the worst part is everybody is raving about this movie.

The movie that I saw goes something like this……..

There is this group of guys who likes to sing some folk songs and pass it off for hard rock stuff. Arjun Ramphal is an extremely talented lead guitarist who likes to get angry for no reason; Farhan Akthar is the singer, full of himself with a class leader like attitude,
Then there’s Purab the drummer and another guy with long hair.
These guys when they are in college con a lot of people by singing folk songs masked as rock and even win a competition. Then Arjun and farhan have a tiff (yawn ) and that’s the end of Magik ( the name of the band).

Ten years later they wake up. By now Farhan is really successful and has a house that is unbelievably unachievable (considering he was only a folk aka rock singer 10 yrs ago). He has a pretty wife prachi, who is always plastered with a watery smile and who remains thin while pregnant and is never hysterical even when farhan looks through her when she tells him that she is pregnant. She stumbles on a box strategically placed with memorabilia of farhan and gang during Magik days and wants to encourage him to be old Farhan ( as now she gets no sex, he turns off to sleep everyday and looked surprised when she announced the pregnancy…yea that’s the Magik). There is a steamy pic in the box where he is passionately kissin an ex gf, whom Parchi thanks later when they meet in a party( I know)

Then Purab the ex drummer wants a meeting with all guys. The only woman who seems normal Debbie and who actually working hard has a prob with this. She is Arjun Ramphal’s wife who by now has become a big time loser . Then yawns later the reconciliation happens and more yawns later they want to participate in another rock competition (again). Debbie takes Arjun away but he runs back to the competition singing a duet with Farhan a melodramatic slow number. One of the band member has a brain tumour , not dyslexia so he manages to perform.

Some months later Magik is dead-the band is, but the moments of lazing around a pool becomes Magik. Really whom are they trying to kid?

Oh did I forget to tell you that the tumour guy died and Arjun ramphal is suddenly rich, Debbie is happy and Prachi has an obese child.

Am I normal to think that this movie sucks bigtime?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

STO and I

Feelings for me originate from the stomach. If my stomach is happy, I
am. Today I am not exceptionally happy. Let me digress and tell you
the story of my stomach, the story of love and some ups and downs.

When I was younger, in college I never ever considered my stomach as
anything exceptional, it was flat and it gave me great moments of joy
by getting satiated with junk food but continued to be firm allowing
me to wear the tightest of T shirts. It was my thighs that was too big
or my face that was covered with pimples. As I worried about my other
physical imperfections, my stomach never let me down.

Then some years later, I noticed that she was not as flat as before
but still so sweet and loved the same junk food and lots of nuts. She
was nutty about nuts and chips and little chunks of fat started to
settle on my butt but those were still the days of Jay Lo and I got
away with it.

Then one day, I started noticing that my stomach was getting bigger
than usual. In fact way too big making me look like a little balloon
but she was only bringing me a bundle of joy. In the mornings or
afternoons whenever I woke up, I went to the window near the mirror
watching her balloon with me. But one day I started noticing a tiny
silvery thread threatening to come between us. I almost fainted-
STRETCH MARKS. Please deflate , before they invade our personal space
and boom she listened. I had a cute baby in m arms and she was
deflated and a lot sore. I liked touching her because she was soft.
The nurses dressed in white became her tormentors. She can't be
unrestrained. "Tie her up". And they bound my stomach almost choking
her. But she went through it like a martyr.

And just when she thought things were getting better, she met Padimini
chechi who really made her suffer in the name of post pregnancy care.
She loved the oil massages but nothing in the world prepared her for
the scalding water thrown on her with blatant disregard. "Otherwise
she won't shrink", Padmini Chechi said determinedly.

She did shrink and was almost like before. We were very happy
together. Then one day things started to change. She started lying to
me and would feign pain in the name of a stomach crunch or abdominal
exercise and unknowingly or unknowingly I started calling her abdomen
some thing that she hated. Today she looks like a little pouch and
just refused to let me where the little red top I wanted. I told her I
don't give a damn and restrained her with a corset. She is in pain
and wants to be free and I am too selfish for that. We are both
unhappy.

To think, we both had our way some time back. May we should work on this.

Darling Stomach , baby I love you but not today.