Thursday, June 10, 2010

One sad pizza pls ...

She is so miserable that she decides to take solace in a huge barbeque
pizza . Calls Just Dial... "we can get you anything ", he says. "can
you get me free hugs " , she asks ... "sorry ma'am I don't get
you" ... And so she settles for the pizza
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Friday, June 04, 2010

Pancake woes

It's almost 7.30 pm and I am going through the most disgusting
experience of my life . As I am punching on the keys to update you, he
is rubbing pan cake on my face and his breath is rancid near my face.
I hold my breath and try not to breathe the same air. A small spit
bubble lands on my face... I cringe and rub it . "stop talking you
as&;:/' , next time you saliva spray ... Am gonna fucking punch you' ,
I want to say but I don't . I just let it pass...meanwhile the hair
guy is styling my hair... I feel drained ... Dead. Exactly in 30
mins , I will be facing the camera ...bright lights... My hair near
perfect and face bright and smiley and some people will call me n tell
me that they watch my show everyday , they are my fans, some like my
clothes... One or two want to love me... I will flirt and giggle with
them till the producer says "pack up" and then I will sink into the
arms of tiredness without the pancake ....
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Thursday, June 03, 2010

Horror story between the sheets !!!

Enlightenment …

She is immobile sitting on the dirty mosaic floor like a rotund lotus. Her pyjamas are slightly up and I spy wiry hair runny amok. Cant she at least wax, I think She is in a trance supposedly meditating, there is TV blaring in the corner and Yudy is asking lustily “Love ya Cash”. Take the cash , I mumble. A beep. Message from HDFC stating balance in account has gone below the specified limit. Meanwhile, she is chanting Om …..…Aummmmmmmmmmmmm.

Eyes still closed, she lifts up both hands in a namaste position. I try not to look but couldn’t help. Underarms matted with thick curly hair that’s never ever seen a razor or hot wax. I try to avert my eyes in vain and had to when I felt the Osho hanging on her bosom in a bead chain looking at me with reprimand. Her muddy coloured kurtha and feet lined with coarse lines do nothing good to her.

When she finally wakes up, Yudy has disappeared and there is non stop hits playing non stop, and I am on a food marathon digging into the second packet of Lays after eating breakfast. “Hey , listen I’ll get you some nice kurthas” I tell her. Her eyes lit up and say “Really girl that would be nice”.

At the shop, we are having a battle of tastes. I goad her to try the reds, blues and yellows…She needs colour . But she prefers dull saffron, browns and greys. Finally she wins and we go the dressing room to try them all. My top comes off easily while she is struggling and wriggling to take hers off. I stop and help. My eyes inadvertently fall on a bosom- a criss cross of maroon marks from the top trailing down . “Are’nt these love bites I ask”. She blushes with the kurtha still stuck on her arms.

I just pull her out and say “Come, come , lets go!”. She looks at with me little irritated “But I thought you were buying me the kurthas”. Babe trust me , you just don’t need them considering you are getting all that action …I think grumpily and enlightened and a little voice inside my head chants..Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

With Uma , my stylist ...

Yipee ... Blogging via e-mail

Hmmm...it's been a while now. I almost forgot about you until ppl
started reminding me of you through facebook... So I am determined to
keep you alive ...tell you stuff...but you will have to wait another
day ... Giving you random slices from my life.. Partying, VJing n
hanging out with frens, Kam etc ... Missed you

Ooops can't figure out how to attach pics .... Why am I so technically
challenged ? So guess you wil have to wait for the pics as well n I
promise I am gonna blog every single day of my life...amen to that

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