Saturday, November 30, 2013

Awake

The night is inky and even the street lights have been shut out of my bedroom as the darkness of the night has somehow enveloped them. I assume the whole neighbourhood is sleeping because the silence is deafening . Lena is sleeping in my living room couch and I am wide awake. Images flash. 
We are in the kitchen and he is teaching me to make dosas. So many misses, finally i got it right.It's round and not broken. That was a moment.
Then the other day I just follow his advice and reverse park the car in the tiniest space. He had taught me how to do that and yesterday I did it without him . 
And slowly I realise that he is gone for good. 
Sometimes all you get out of a relationship is to learn to make dosas and park a car. 
At least that is better than nothing. 
Good night ! I am sleepy now .


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

An eating marathon n Amma's birthday

I woke up to Kamia's phone call."Today is a special day",she says.
OMG! My mother's birthday, I almost forgot and the day I also got married which any way has no significance now . I realise that I was running late and from then on it was a whirlwind of action and non stop eating  - day at the plant with my boss and team , strategy sessions, meetings, semiya khichdi, oranges, plant tour, chicken roll (2nos), con call , half biriyani,bournvita (2nos ),carrot cake,banana cake , presentation , car ride back home, wheat pulao at home and now plonked in front of the TV trying to blog on my phone and wanting to lose at least 5 kgs to start with.
Seriously that's me for you today !

All grown up now :-)

I
This was on my birthday. Another restroom hug.

The best kiss ever 

Playing the proper horlicks mommy ;-)

Just happy :-)

Our cheap bonding rings 

Kamia's birthday get together 

The cheesy temp tattoo-like hand drawing- NK

Monday, November 25, 2013

Mixed Emotions

  I don't know what made me come here after years. I look at this blog which was my life at one point and just couldn't connect the dots . Mixed emotions :-(
I am different today,  very much from the woman in these pages. In fact I think she is dead and instead of her there is this new me, not so naive but on her own . Biju is gone . I can't believe we loved each other at one point . Now there is a soft shell that could be anything - like how you would feel about a distant cousin and absolutely no hate. Bye bye Biju ! 
Kamia continues to be the love of my life and I will always be kammommy which is a relief. She is 8 years old now and intelligent and smart. She has always been a mamma's girl and she is still.
I have stopped writing like before and now I am stumbling over words like a blind person. I am stuck ! 
The good news is I am happy in spite of everything :-) and writing this on
( not my best pic but this is how I look now ) 

my mobile which is kinda exciting .
So you will hear more from me . Bye for now !