ooopsmommy

2010-12-28T02:50:00.000-08:00

Glimpses of 2010 - Kam +Mommy

kamia with her favourite photo face :-)

Just like daddy

At the Cinderalla play with her prince whom she kept fighting with

Fancy dress - Lola kutty

Just for mamma :-)

Princess in nightdress

Kamia's doodle

Project at school- My baby has a garden in her hands

Fake sleeping pic

Birthday girl

At Cascade her fav chinese restaurant

Just Us...happy with each other

My phone wallpaper

:-)

Sigh ...my baby is all grown up...

One sad pizza pls ...

2010-06-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

She is so miserable that she decides to take solace in a huge barbeque
pizza . Calls Just Dial... "we can get you anything ", he says. "can
you get me free hugs " , she asks ... "sorry ma'am I don't get
you" ... And so she settles for the pizza
Sent from my iPhone

Pancake woes

2010-06-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

It's almost 7.30 pm and I am going through the most disgusting
experience of my life . As I am punching on the keys to update you, he
is rubbing pan cake on my face and his breath is rancid near my face.
I hold my breath and try not to breathe the same air. A small spit
bubble lands on my face... I cringe and rub it . "stop talking you
as&;:/' , next time you saliva spray ... Am gonna fucking punch you' ,
I want to say but I don't . I just let it pass...meanwhile the hair
guy is styling my hair... I feel drained ... Dead. Exactly in 30
mins , I will be facing the camera ...bright lights... My hair near
perfect and face bright and smiley and some people will call me n tell
me that they watch my show everyday , they are my fans, some like my
clothes... One or two want to love me... I will flirt and giggle with
them till the producer says "pack up" and then I will sink into the
arms of tiredness without the pancake ....
Sent from my iPhone

Horror story between the sheets !!!

2010-06-03T03:13:00.000-07:00

2010-06-03T03:06:00.001-07:00

Enlightenment …

She is immobile sitting on the dirty mosaic floor like a rotund lotus. Her pyjamas are slightly up and I spy wiry hair runny amok. Cant she at least wax, I think She is in a trance supposedly meditating, there is TV blaring in the corner and Yudy is asking lustily “Love ya Cash”. Take the cash , I mumble. A beep. Message from HDFC stating balance in account has gone below the specified limit. Meanwhile, she is chanting Om …..…Aummmmmmmmmmmmm.

Eyes still closed, she lifts up both hands in a namaste position. I try not to look but couldn’t help. Underarms matted with thick curly hair that’s never ever seen a razor or hot wax. I try to avert my eyes in vain and had to when I felt the Osho hanging on her bosom in a bead chain looking at me with reprimand. Her muddy coloured kurtha and feet lined with coarse lines do nothing good to her.

When she finally wakes up, Yudy has disappeared and there is non stop hits playing non stop, and I am on a food marathon digging into the second packet of Lays after eating breakfast. “Hey , listen I’ll get you some nice kurthas” I tell her. Her eyes lit up and say “Really girl that would be nice”.

At the shop, we are having a battle of tastes. I goad her to try the reds, blues and yellows…She needs colour . But she prefers dull saffron, browns and greys. Finally she wins and we go the dressing room to try them all. My top comes off easily while she is struggling and wriggling to take hers off. I stop and help. My eyes inadvertently fall on a bosom- a criss cross of maroon marks from the top trailing down . “Are’nt these love bites I ask”. She blushes with the kurtha still stuck on her arms.

I just pull her out and say “Come, come , lets go!”. She looks at with me little irritated “But I thought you were buying me the kurthas”. Babe trust me , you just don’t need them considering you are getting all that action …I think grumpily and enlightened and a little voice inside my head chants..Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

With Uma , my stylist ...

2010-06-03T00:18:00.001-07:00

Yipee ... Blogging via e-mail

2010-06-03T00:11:00.001-07:00

Hmmm...it's been a while now. I almost forgot about you until ppl
started reminding me of you through facebook... So I am determined to
keep you alive ...tell you stuff...but you will have to wait another
day ... Giving you random slices from my life.. Partying, VJing n
hanging out with frens, Kam etc ... Missed you

Ooops can't figure out how to attach pics .... Why am I so technically
challenged ? So guess you wil have to wait for the pics as well n I
promise I am gonna blog every single day of my life...amen to that

Sent from my iPhone

2009-12-04T11:25:00.001-08:00

Life so far......

I have been ignoring you ooopsmoomy, lot of things have taken my fancy and occupied my time and I almost forgot you. You are what I am and I need to keep you posted for me at a later date. Who knows I could get alzheimer's and these memories will be all that I have and I will always be immortal.

I have been bad.
I was crowned the Venus at work
I have turned a year older
I got the driving license
I sold the car (but still have the license)
I performed at the performer’s league. Loved that 20 minutes of spotlight
I have an i phone and a waio now
I cut my hair really short and went curly
I straightened it back again
My brother got engaged and I looked like an aravani with my short curly hair
I digressed in life. I actually logged on to yahoo messenger , something that I had not done in years...asl?lol? wtf?
I made a call to Pakistan
I went for an audition as a vj. Was pretty decent , If i am not getting through its only because the others were skinny and prettier. So no regrets.
I lost weight
I put on the lost weight
Now I have a cold and I am physically feverish and sick.
Life is great and yet sucks....
There is this void....................

2009-08-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

High Hopes

“Bitch come close to me” he says and bites my neck. Little goose bumps cover my arms. I clench my thighs.
“So can we work out this strategy?"…a voice trails
I wake up and stare at him blankly. My mind has been wandering again in the land of erotica.
Huh..yeah Yeah I answer.
Seconds mingle to mins and minutes slitter to hours and I am still in the meeting
Sometimes when I am bored, I think of wild sex.
Wild movements…
People jumping wildly out of the window…out of the meeting room.

We were a bunch of people talking animatedly about things that mattered the least to us,we had to because we were getting paid for that. At the extreme right was a very insignificant guy…like one of those guys even the ugliest woman ignored. For some weird reason I felt irritated just having him in the room. That perfectly combed oily hair, the pretended concentration and then I spied it. I thought first it was a rash. I leaned closer and ascertained that it was undoubtedly a symbol of an act of passionate nature.
He was sporting a hicky…not the boring maroon patch but a fresh crimson bite hicky.
Now that made it interesting. The Sexholic Holmes in me woke up.

I scanned the woman next to him. Droopy saggy chin, short hair, crooked teeth but sharp. Her forearms were touching him. He was leaning towards feigning interest in her presentation. Elementary Watson. Its her .

I watch him with rapt attention that after sometime I could hear their collected breathing separated from everyone else’s. Then I catch the rhythm of her arms supposedly touching
his accidently. I could see the glisten of sweat on his upper lips and she was biting her lower lips. His breath was hot on her cheeks and he started necking her …and then he slumps down on her.
Thud.

There are on the floor.She is screaming. “he has fainted, he has fainted”.
Every body looks at them immobolised for a few seconds.. then the Director springs into action. And turns him over

“O god, look at this guys neck, full of rashes. I think he has measeles”.

Meeting over.

I look at the ill guy, my unfounded irritation replaced with gratitude.
The woman who sat next to him who looked slutty seconds before looked like a conservative mother of three now.

How one man’s Hicky became another man’s measles.

“How things change in seconds…This could be the script of Tata Docomo” I think.
Meanwhile, nothing has changed. The meeting goes on.

2009-05-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Wish upon a Key board

Once upon a time in a windowless office of a high rise building worked little Sujatha. Little, because she was short, insignificant and the littlest in the organization chart, just about earning a few hundreds more than the office boy. Sometimes people bumped into her and didn’t even notice. She was that inconspicuous.

Like in all offices of the world, they followed some unspoken corporate mantra diligently. The consequences of which were very belittling to Little Sujatha. In the beginning of the month, every body laughed more and frequented the social networking sites with a vengeance. They updated status messages with smileys and left scraps to each other. Needless to say Little Sujatha was excluded from this camaraderie.

Good looking junior executives were bullied and teased but everybody conveniently ignored Little Sujatha because nobody really wanted to date her or even talk to her. It was then she read a story about why people bully or talk about others- something to the effect that people throw stones only at trees laden with fruit. She was sadly a barren tree, even boring to be bullied or cared for. This story scarred her a bit and she shed a hasty tear or two in acute self pity. Of course no body noticed.

When mid month approached , every body’s smile faded a bit and towards the end of month , they put on their running shoes and jogged hard to get businesses and make clients happy and most importantly to please the Office Priestess Rochelle- beautiful, intelligent, rich and born under a spotlight. When she walked into that windowless office, doors opened and spectacles frosted. Her voice was musical with a strong commanding ring. People listened to her, loathed her success but loved her nonetheless. It was rumoured that on Rochelle’s instruction, that her suite like cabin was always sprayed with the latest launched bottled smell - Chanel or Versace or whatever that changed according to her whims .

By virtue of sitting around Rochelle’s cabin Little Sujatha would get that whiff of the latest in the international scene which she always associated with success and would often cross her fingers wanting to be Rochelle, the beautiful tree laden with the choicest fruits.

Then one day, she heard a voice. She swore it was the computer talking to her.
Press F5. Now. You shall find what you want.
She types slowly and deliberately. Rochelle, I want to be Rochelle.

She feels herself being lifted, tenderly but somehow compellingly. And there she was enveloped by a smell so tingling cushioned in a seat so warm and leathery. She smiles in delight and the spectacles of the Executive Assistant frost. Her heart sings a beautiful song praising her for finally being the tree with the choicest of fruits. Then it stops on its own and little jets of pain shoot through her shoulders slowly and steadily. Diamond beads like sweat spring on her face and neck and trickle down like small comical rivers. Then the pain becomes a dream. A painful dream but real. Unbearable, scary and she hits the floor with her hand clutching her heart.
A heart attack the doctor confirms later. Must have been all the stress being the boss, Poor thing.

Meanwhile little Rochelle sat at her desk excluded from all the office camaraderie- Away from the spotlight and feeling light bereft of all the fruits that once weighed her down. Happy to be just a tree at last.

2009-05-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

Sweet Talker

We were walking by the woods and the sweet talker says “ I can climb the highest peak for you”. The leaves start to fall and we encounter a little mole hill. I smile at him say ”this is the mountain, climb it”. And he disappears in a blink

Then my phone rings and he explains in the sweetest soothing tone. That mole hills are way too small and climb he would only the highest peak with his bare hands.

I yawned and deleted his no.

Next please.

2009-04-23T07:23:00.001-07:00

:-(

I am restless…it feels like I am always in a race…running hard but never winning. Sometimes I have the medal in my hand; it’s golden and shining and makes me proud. Then in a blink it’s gone. I am empty handed and running…restless, always in a race never winning.

I don’t want to be this way.

2009-04-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

Fuchsia Pink

Her fingers on the key board ran amok but the eyes were listless. Sometimes waiting for ever can do that to a person. She pursed her lips; scabs were forming on them as if mocking her a bit. But she decides against going to the coffee machine. She can’t afford that. Not now. Last year was different. Plus it would take approximately twenty seconds to cross the corridor , another 20 to pause for a turn or maybe more because today there seem to be more than a usual crowd there. Another 2 minutes to drink coffee perfunctorily doled out by that cold judgmental machine. 20 seconds back. Total 2mins 40 secs. Enough time to mail a reply on the profitability table and stretch her arms a bit. Her neck feels like iron.

But she is prepared. Not really. One can never be prepared. But one can brace against it, as she is doing now. She saw it in his eyes today. Though they exchanged no words, his eyes said it all. She might have to give away the car, move to another city or worst go back to her father and drown in the deafening silence of “I told you so, you were better off with us”. “Why god! Why me?” She thought again. A lone tear fell on the keyboard sloppily.

She finally decides to take that 2 minute 40 second break. Not for coffee though.
Papa, I am coming home
Silence, no whys, what, how….just silence
And palpable relief
The travel agent will come with your tickets. So now you are ready to get married?
Yes.
That’s my girl.
Click. End of conversation.
She then takes her sim out and slowly starts cutting it with precision. Yes, she is a coward, running way from him, from his carefully modulated “boss talk” that would break the news. The wait for the pink slip is finally over.

Sometime after she walks out never to appear in that office, he walks in to her bay and leaves a letter ironically in a pink cover with a lovely red bow. He feels happy that she got this promotion.

Damn I love her…

-----------------------------
This is a story i wrote for an IT daily....they didnt publish it...so it finds its place in you.

2009-04-23T05:13:00.000-07:00

Saif and Secure and lot "more" (wink)

It was a boring day and i was walking in the supermarket and guess who i meet? I put my cheeks close to his and we get closer and then he whispers I want "more". Sorry bebo..(lol)

2009-02-26T03:09:00.000-08:00

One Crazy nite at 10 D

My hair looks like a wig...it is not...only very artificial...but i sure had a blast!!!

2009 and a Voice from Outside

Procrastination has been the flavour of the year for me….Since you didn’t get to see my any of my posts. Let me update you in a jiffy.

Began the year with a new year party, had a blast not the earth shattering one but the grounded okay types…check out some of the pics.

Lot of things have been happening , nothing I can remember. Been pub hopping quite a bit
http://photogallery.indiatimes.com/articleshow/4040653.cms( check it out )
Let me tell you about the latest voice. So here goes.

The Voice…

There is this voice that just made me extremely happy …you know one of those drawly voices that make your insides curl. I did to mine too. I was smiling more…my cheeks felt flushed. The voice had a nice laugh too..slow and lazy with a tinge of bubble. I even contemplated recording the voice.

The voice said nice things…decent stuff yet very exciting and some lies. But little lies were okay cos voice was just too good. “I am your best friend”, the voice said and I agreed loving the tenor.

So what’s in a voice, you might ask
Everything I would say…..

Work became a cheerful place…after work even more….there was a song in my heart that matched with the song of the voice. The voice laughed and made me laugh. Some of my friends became jealous of the voice but I didn’t care. Then all wise Lena told me “ You feel like this cos you are turning a year older soon and subconsciously you cant accept that you are no longer” young” anymore…you are a psycho, you’ll get bored with this voice”. “Never “, I screamed.

This is the voice that’s music to me. I was suspended in a continual state of excitement for almost two days. I searched for the voice when I couldn’t hear it…My best friend voice and nothing more…singing many a lore that’s pleased me to the core.

Then the inevitable happened. I met the attachment with the voice.

What’s in a voice you might ask?
Nothing I would say… absolutely nothing

Lena was right after all….and how can a voice become a best friend overnight? Beats me…now.

2008-12-19T23:26:00.000-08:00

Three is a crowd!

Being lonely and having no friends is sad but somehow one gets used to the loneliness and finds solace in doing things that one is passionate about. The most thought provoking ideas stem from solitude, so does immortal works of art; books, songs, paintings - all crafted carefully by dexterous fingers in moments of loneliness and even pain by a very lively brain. What is truly heartbreaking in life is being the Third Wheel.

This post is dedicated to all the Third Wheels in Life. Third Wheel trapped in marriages, The Third Wheel among lovers, Third Wheel of friends. I feel your pain. You are worse than the garbage because the stink is from inside and you are constantly trying to escape that, little knowing that it is the stink of being “the Third Wheel”.

The third wheel existence in life is to give company to the other legitimate wheels whose bonding levels are sky –scraping , to the extent that TW will always be the outsider .
If you are trapped in any of these situations, god forbid !

*You always end up passenger seat in the car. The front seat goes to the First wheel/Second wheel every single time.

*You are always driving and they both are in the passenger seat.

*You are the messenger. Your job is to repeat verbatim, words, emotions, expressions of the other wheels to each other.

*You are the temple friend, somebody the first wheel accompanies in the process of meeting the second wheel in a temple/bus stand/canteen etc.

*You are a crowd of three and not part of the special looks/subtle touches exchanged by the other two.

*You are there but very much not there.

*That you are the legitimate but are treated otherwise

And many more such instances. I hope you get the drift.

But sadly Third wheels only wake up when they get the message flat on their faces
“Thank you for being there. Now we don’t need you anymore”

Need some tissues TW?

2008-12-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

Crack in my lil finger....

Its official…I fractured my little finger and suffered quite a bit under the care of a certified quack. So now its re bandaged and I am painfree.

So here comes some pics of me suffering(lol) but working hard to spread the glory of my company all over the world like a lone martyr – narcissistic and a lil cracked up!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyunki yeh Life hai…
Because this is Life …

Sometimes when I look around, I feel that I am part of a mega soap. A narrator of sorts without a script.Some of the things that are happening are so absurd that my beliefs are shattered like little glass shreds on a hot day. Some trample on it unscathed while others get hurt by the sharp edges.
These are slices of life that bemused me and some that shook me a little.

Some years ago in college, my friend just stopped coming to college. Then I saw her a month later and she appeared to be "hugely" different. After years of believing that she woke up like that one fine day, now she tells me without a blink, over a glass of vodka…"those are the implants"... The best part was I didn’t blink back .

There was this beautiful girl, smart, vivacious and a nice person , when I saw her in college I knew that she would conquer the world. Now, she has a little girl and is on the brink of a divorce for no reasonale fault of hers where as the certified dunce in my class is painting the world red and has leaped the career ladder like rabbits in lust. And she isn’t even remotely nice looking and her communication skills are zilch. Beats me.

Then there are others who seemed to have all but their lipstick is to hide quivering lips, glossy hair is a painful effort to divert the mind from pain . The laughter is loud but hollow and the mist in the eye after a good laugh is actually tears , of pain , sorrow, anger , knowing that they had it all but still have nothing.

While manipulative little things, with fake smiles and dried up brains walk away with trophies and bask in confetti and all the nice things showered by life…even the narrator cant but sigh in exasperation.

2008-11-26T23:28:00.000-08:00

Four years ..... (Nov 27th)
of love, fights, tears, happiness
cuddles, kisses, milestones....
It feels great to be married :-)

2008-11-24T23:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday Nite at Dublin

Lena says that I look like a "cross between a retard and chinky"...she feels that she looks like a "white pig"..and Shweta hates the way she looks here...

PS: And I have finally mastered the art of looking thin....(wear sleeves and get partially covered by friends!)

2008-11-17T04:22:00.000-08:00

I had a blast.....as you can see....

2008-11-17T04:08:00.000-08:00

Lady in red at the Times Party

2008-11-03T03:24:00.000-08:00

Excrete a lie

My boss calls at 11am.
"Where are u", he asks?
I am on the way I say
The door bangs out
And my daughter says
“appy,appy,appy”
"Make her shit",
Biju bellows
Hello?hello?hello?
Only the dial tone
Bye, bye promotions.

PS: She leaves a huge mound on the toilet floor.So concrete and precise.

2008-11-03T01:29:00.001-08:00

Dinner @ C’s place
I truly madly passionately admire C. She is a phenomenal woman. Thought I’ll post this pic cos everybody is happy and actually smiling. Tats Kamia sleeping. Oops am wearing the same red jacket yet again!

2008-10-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

Really Inane

No new posts do not mean that my life has come to a standstill. In fact so many inane things clubbed together have given me some great moments. Since you know me by now, I am not gonna dwell on happiness because it’s always fleeting however long it stays. It’s the boredom, the irritability that lingers.

I am in office in my comfort salwar kameez and bathroom slippers and I feel almost at peace, far from how I felt in the morning. At the gym they told me without a blink that I am technically obese and I have around 32 percent body fat which is way too high. I just wanted to throw the towel and walk out forever. But I kinda spied a fit and getting fitter Imran Khan and thought otherwise.

A very inane thing that I noticed about IK is that he is always in white and black , every single day that I have seen him.

Yesterday Biju and I were at the supermarket and I see a woman with fountain hair and Sania glasses staring at him . And they have an eye locked moment amidst britannias and veggies. He turns to look at me sheepish, I smile and walk with him till we are out of focus of the starer. Then I twist his arm really hard. He beams. A lil bit of jealousy is a good thing.

I also like to clarify that I don’t stare at IK. I am not a starer. I ignore people that I find attractive. And if I’ve been talking to you and staring, now you know what it really means.

2008-10-09T03:37:00.000-07:00

Imran , what art thou?

I’ve joined a gym again and really hoping to be regular. It’s the second day today. There’s this guy working out, who looks exactly like Imran Khan of Jaane tu fame and Kidnap debacle . He is damn drool worthy. I’ve caught him looking at me once or twice. It could also be my imagination tricked by sweating buckets that lead to dehydration induced illusions. Whatever it is he is cute. I’ve already referred him to my single friend who is very interested and wants to know other details as well. But the only turn off is that he has PINK lips. He could be gay. If he is, then he is gonna be my fren. If not my friend gets him. That’s a good deal rite?
And now for my friend’s sake, I have to gym (wink).
Gay:-) straight:-( gay:-) straight:-( gay:-) straight :-(………gay:-)
….straight:-(…gay:-)?

2008-09-23T00:48:00.000-07:00

Does anybody hate Rock On?

I think Rock On is the most unrealistic and boring movie I’ve seen in a long time. It is just damn boring. Most of the characters are unidimensional except for Debbie. She is the only saving grace and the worst part is everybody is raving about this movie.

The movie that I saw goes something like this……..

There is this group of guys who likes to sing some folk songs and pass it off for hard rock stuff. Arjun Ramphal is an extremely talented lead guitarist who likes to get angry for no reason; Farhan Akthar is the singer, full of himself with a class leader like attitude,
Then there’s Purab the drummer and another guy with long hair.
These guys when they are in college con a lot of people by singing folk songs masked as rock and even win a competition. Then Arjun and farhan have a tiff (yawn ) and that’s the end of Magik ( the name of the band).

Ten years later they wake up. By now Farhan is really successful and has a house that is unbelievably unachievable (considering he was only a folk aka rock singer 10 yrs ago). He has a pretty wife prachi, who is always plastered with a watery smile and who remains thin while pregnant and is never hysterical even when farhan looks through her when she tells him that she is pregnant. She stumbles on a box strategically placed with memorabilia of farhan and gang during Magik days and wants to encourage him to be old Farhan ( as now she gets no sex, he turns off to sleep everyday and looked surprised when she announced the pregnancy…yea that’s the Magik). There is a steamy pic in the box where he is passionately kissin an ex gf, whom Parchi thanks later when they meet in a party( I know)

Then Purab the ex drummer wants a meeting with all guys. The only woman who seems normal Debbie and who actually working hard has a prob with this. She is Arjun Ramphal’s wife who by now has become a big time loser . Then yawns later the reconciliation happens and more yawns later they want to participate in another rock competition (again). Debbie takes Arjun away but he runs back to the competition singing a duet with Farhan a melodramatic slow number. One of the band member has a brain tumour , not dyslexia so he manages to perform.

Some months later Magik is dead-the band is, but the moments of lazing around a pool becomes Magik. Really whom are they trying to kid?

Oh did I forget to tell you that the tumour guy died and Arjun ramphal is suddenly rich, Debbie is happy and Prachi has an obese child.

Am I normal to think that this movie sucks bigtime?

2008-09-11T02:14:00.000-07:00

STO and I

Feelings for me originate from the stomach. If my stomach is happy, I
am. Today I am not exceptionally happy. Let me digress and tell you
the story of my stomach, the story of love and some ups and downs.

When I was younger, in college I never ever considered my stomach as
anything exceptional, it was flat and it gave me great moments of joy
by getting satiated with junk food but continued to be firm allowing
me to wear the tightest of T shirts. It was my thighs that was too big
or my face that was covered with pimples. As I worried about my other
physical imperfections, my stomach never let me down.

Then some years later, I noticed that she was not as flat as before
but still so sweet and loved the same junk food and lots of nuts. She
was nutty about nuts and chips and little chunks of fat started to
settle on my butt but those were still the days of Jay Lo and I got
away with it.

Then one day, I started noticing that my stomach was getting bigger
than usual. In fact way too big making me look like a little balloon
but she was only bringing me a bundle of joy. In the mornings or
afternoons whenever I woke up, I went to the window near the mirror
watching her balloon with me. But one day I started noticing a tiny
silvery thread threatening to come between us. I almost fainted-
STRETCH MARKS. Please deflate , before they invade our personal space
and boom she listened. I had a cute baby in m arms and she was
deflated and a lot sore. I liked touching her because she was soft.
The nurses dressed in white became her tormentors. She can't be
unrestrained. "Tie her up". And they bound my stomach almost choking
her. But she went through it like a martyr.

And just when she thought things were getting better, she met Padimini
chechi who really made her suffer in the name of post pregnancy care.
She loved the oil massages but nothing in the world prepared her for
the scalding water thrown on her with blatant disregard. "Otherwise
she won't shrink", Padmini Chechi said determinedly.

She did shrink and was almost like before. We were very happy
together. Then one day things started to change. She started lying to
me and would feign pain in the name of a stomach crunch or abdominal
exercise and unknowingly or unknowingly I started calling her abdomen
some thing that she hated. Today she looks like a little pouch and
just refused to let me where the little red top I wanted. I told her I
don't give a damn and restrained her with a corset. She is in pain
and wants to be free and I am too selfish for that. We are both
unhappy.

To think, we both had our way some time back. May we should work on this.

Darling Stomach , baby I love you but not today.

2008-08-06T00:54:00.000-07:00

No friends Pls…Only Strategic Alliances

There is a golden rule to be followed at work, which I break most of the time and suffer.
I here by pledge to follow that rule and never ever break it for the good of me.
Amen to that.

The rule is:
Never ever get close to any body at work, accidentally, deliberately, under duress or just like that.
You know, it simply is not worth it.
No body needs to know my PMS cycles, the perfume I wear, my relationship with my husband, my daughter’s eating habits, my ex boy friend’s names, the reason of the break ups, how I met my husband , my constant fight to lose weight and the conflicting treacherous appetite.

If they know, they are just gonna screw you with that little bit of inane but potentially unprofessional information.

Also when you talk to people, you generally assume that they like you because you feel you are likeable with not much hang ups and after all you are baring your heart , to someone you like.

You get lulled by it surrounded by laughter.

Then one day, especially when you are smiling broadly, they just tell right on your face.

Shut the @#$% up.

And you have to….

…To go back to your workstation to lick the wounds.

Really. Never. Ever.

2008-08-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

Stair mates...

There is someone i meet on the stairs. It's always by accident and it doesnt help one bit that he is downright gorgeous.
I hope i am not acting stupid but some men among a sea of men have that effect on you. You like watching them more than others, wondering how they there. Today, we were discussing that he lost his beard and hence was looking incredibly cuter.
Some of my friends say that he is dumb and sometimes stammers a lot during meetings but another group says that's because he thinks faster than he speaks.

Some say that he is tight tisted. Actually it doesnt matter, he's never gonna spend on me.

Wat ever they say, he is my stair mate who pops up suddenly in the stairs startling me a bit and making me smile a lot.

So wat about Biju? I like watching him, fighting with him, cuddling and coochie cooing , having him for keeps to climb the stairs with me - however steep or slippery because he is what is called my soul mate.

2008-07-28T05:45:00.000-07:00

TGFHB

One day , they met after years. He was tall and confident but she saw him differently now unlike years ago. his eyes have dried up designed with lil criss crossing lines which can look cute depending on the way you look at him but she didnt like it anymore. lips were greyish and dehydrated kissed by a million cigars which she didnt notice before. he was downright ugly now and before.

Ugly inside out.

But years ago, she loved that ugliness and cried in her hostel room , when he left her for another woman.

As she walked away, she smiled knowing how close, she was to crying for the rest of her life.

Thank god for heart breaks.

2008-07-17T04:13:00.000-07:00

Mommy goes to party sans baby with bro n cousin
yea...my idea of posing. Thank god for the jacket that covered the oil bubbles

i resemble a superstar- Mohan lal

My bro, me ( looking like an oily tanker ) and cousin ( who is wearing my top)
--------------------------------------------------------------
It's been a while since I actually partied. I just clubbed a couple of times but was cut short by my hubby prompt calls where I could hear somebody wailing, lustily and throatily AMMMAA.......
So the maternal instinct in me did a full monty and I rushed home albeit a little irritated to my daughter.
So is this how my life's gonna be? An amma who cant step out at night?

So last Saturday, I was all the more determined to make it to the Filmfare party. As usual Biju was at work, so decided that it will be my non smoking, veggie, teetotaler brother and cousin who is 17and some months old to do the honours of accompanying me to the party ,to party with the stars.

It was a last minute decision, so Ididn’t have the tickets and plus couldn’t blow dry my hair which was a little tragic considering my hair can at best be described as "nothing much on earth"( my auntie’s words). If this is bad enough, my cousin kept on saying "you look like a pig, a fat one". That could be combated with ingenious dressing.

Then at around 10 pm I got a brilliant idea to make my hair shiny. I think it's my mallu genes which helped in taking that decision of boiling coconut hair and then putting it on my hair to wash off to a silky shiny mane. I have to tell that somewhere in all this, the boiling oil slipped from my hands to leave splats of skin bubbles on my cleavage and arms.

I yelped in pain and thanked god for ice cubes but the tough never quits, so I put on a red jacket and was off to party in one of the most posh hotels in Chennai by literally jumping into the awaiting car....a brand new, silky silver, fully loaded maruti 800 ( my brother's).

My brother looked kind of cute wearing a satin black shirt a far cry from his army jawan kind of dressing. My cousin, Meghana, well looked 17, resplendent , sporting specs and curls.

Some how , I sponged some extra tickets which I had to get from a friend who house i've visited a million times ,yet not surprising couldn’t find. My indiscriminate barrage of "go left .. no right..hmm" finally ended with the car hitting the pavement and darling brother refused to budge and rushed out to check the damage to his lady love, even cleaning the scratches with his hands.

Finally I walked till eternity on my stilettos and found the house and got the tickets.
We managed to reach the party at 12pm and they were announcing "the bar will be shut in 10 mins"
It actually did and I don’t have to tell you more about the party.

PS: Some stars were really fat, even fatter than me. Even my namesake.

2008-06-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

I am so dead.....

Sometimes I really think that I am crazy. Yesterday night I was taking a bath and soaping myself when I felt a lump like thing on my pelvic bone. I got scared and imagined it be a cancerous growth. My heart stopped for a minute and I wallowed on a cancer trip. How I was dying and trying to be brave and selfless, always smiling no matter what but still being scared of death.

Then today morning there was a scene and I just wanted to die. I mean I just got fed up of everything and wondered what it felt like to JUST DIE. My friend Lena says she has never thought of death as an ption ever. She says that she’d rather kill that person who makes her cry. Well I cant do that cos I love biju though he is such a !@#$% sometimes and also he pays all the bills. You don’t want to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.

I think of walking out sometimes but cant bear to live in a place without AC or Plasma TV and also I just cant sleep without him next to me. But really today I am so pissed off with him. Don’t even ask me what the fight was about. It’s so silly that you’d laugh. But silly things become big things triggering tears and thoughts of death.

Today I really realized why I work. I don’t work for money, for job satisfaction, to quench my creative urge. I don’t.

I work to keep my sanity. My mother always said this, never believed her. Until now.

We had a team building exercise today .It was nice and I was even laughing.

To think I wanted to die. Funny.

2008-06-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

Ego Massage

Yesterday, I got an ego massage. I was feeling really smug about it the whole evening. My ex colleague calls me and says that I have a fan in her office and it’s a woman and I
don’t know her. She knows about me from a TV programme my husband and I participated long time back where personally if you ask me, I looked and came across as a retard. My mother says that she is highly embarrassed about that show. The only solace is that my in laws didn’t get to see it.

Okay, forget that highly forgettable show. The whole point is somebody I didn’t even existed admires me. And it seems “she” told my friend that she wants her life to be exactly like mine.

So today , I am in office wearing blue eye shadow and not looking sleepy/bored/cranky.
I even smiled at some walls. Who knows there might be , someone , somewhere around peering looking at me thinking. “God , I want to be like her , the blue eye shadow girl”. ( hig hopes…lol)

Also, I don’t ever want to see that girl, who wants my life. You know…I don’t want to burst her bubble.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Achachan turns eighty

My grandfather turned eighty yesterday. So I gave him a card that said something like “mighty at eighty” and we had a party. I remember when I was a child, my grandfather would get me a whole bunch of toys like dolls , kitchen set etc and there was a friend of mine who said that she wanted a grandfather just like mine. I graduated from toys to other things in life and would never adhere to the curfew imposed by grandfather. He would then shout at me saying” why are you acting like an upstart”. Then I got married , had a baby and my interaction with grandfather was a hi or a bye. He would be plonked on the sofa watching, cricket or those saga serials. Years passed by …and yesterday he turned eighty.
I like my grandfather but truly love my grandmother.
Will blog about my grandma some other day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Poor Guy..

Hmm…forgot to tell you something that made me believe that you get what you are destined to. There is this ATM security man that i like because he is always smiling and nice to me. So I decided to give him 100 bucks. The first time, I wanted to give him the money, he was talking to someone else. So yesterday, though I was technically broke, I decided to give him 100 bucks. When I was going into with draw the money, he smiled at me. I came back and shoved the money right to his face. And I was standing like that for a few seconds. He just didn’t take the money. I looked closer and his eyes were closed and he was engrossed in the music from his radio, never realizing that just underneath his nose, I was holding 100 bucks.

So I took the money and left. He was just not destined for it.

2008-06-15T23:54:00.000-07:00

Anger caressed her like waves on a boulder

Anger is like a worm that is eats you slowly and steadily. I am angry today. I’ve been angry with some people over the past one month. I wish I had the power to make these people suffer.

I hate rude people especially people who are rude necessarily. Today the shop keeper down my flat was extremely rude to me. I hate that bastard.

Then there is this man, who has his desk full of gods-Gods in sizes, shapes, different colours and attires. He professes to be pious and hard working but just refuses to act.
And if he doesn’t act I will not get money that is due to me and if I don’t get that money , then I cant pay that long winding credit card bill. All he has to do is to gimme a letter which he won’t. And I thought somebody said “god is work”. I am so fed up.

And then there are the others….

Just yesterday, I walked around and discovered a beautiful place. Full of greenery and soothing. I stood there under the shade of those survivor trees, savouring every second and I was thinking, why didn’t I discover this place that gives me so much of peace and happiness before? Today I walk to that place again, I see that it’s no longer beautiful. The same place that gave me so much of solace yesterday was making me claustrophobic. My lungs filled with smoke and my eyes started to water. I am crying.

Nothing is beautiful when you are angry.

2008-05-20T00:08:00.000-07:00

LUNCHEON

I am this person, who hates eating from the office canteen.
Lunch for me is elaborate and generally as a rule I like having lunch only with people I love. So lunch partners for me are sacred. I just stop short of worshipping them.
So every day, considerable amount of my time go for planning lunch.
It requires great organizational skills, persuasion techniques and above all follow ups. You don’t want to be stood up right?

Also I love having lunch with people who love to eat. Strictly no dieters. It’s also an added advantage if they are non vegetarians.

A typical day of planning lunch goes like this.

Scan the phone book for prospects. I avoid my new office colleagues. Cos I think they really don’t need to know what I eat and also going through the “getting to know you” kind of conversations can make the food insipid and process torturous. My ideal prospect any day is LENA.
Our appetites match and the conversation is fun and we both don’t really dig veg. Only in the food aspect, being mallu is an added advantage. To say that we loooooooooooooooooooove food is an understatement. And there is absolutely no guilt factor about eating more and more.
When she is not available, is when my lunch plans go haywire.

SWATHI is fun for the conversation part but is strictly vegetarian and has a tendency to eat leaves or cabbage tossed in olive oil (eeeks). But the conversation is worth it but if u really ask me she is a great choice for coffee.
God forbid , if Swathi is not around. Then it’s ARAVIND.

But the problem with Aravind is that he hates fish and has a strong inherent trait to criticize any food preparation. He is a perfectionist and generally suffers lunch with me.
If by some misfortune , all three are unavailable, I just walk and have lunch by myself which I don’t mind at all which of course is the last resort.

If by any chance the above mentioned, agree for lunch. I do follow ups and get ready to masticate.
But all these people have some pet peeves.
With Lena: there is no concept of sharing food
With Swathi: you don’t want to be late , Better to be dead if u are.
With Aravind: What is continental?

Would have loved to write more. But gotta go for Lunch . At last.

Yup, my lunch partner is on the way. Make a guess who it is.

2008-05-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

JINXED?
I don’t know where to begin...whether the beginning is right in the first place. Well...I joined this new company on May 5th. The first day went on with the induction process, filling up forms, doing the medicals and so on. It was a bit tiring but I was charged up and dying to get into my new role and be creative and productive and happy. My new boss was in US in a conference, I met him twice before he left to the US. He gave me a brief about my role, KRA and things like that. We discussed certain marketing ideas that would be great to implement. Our thoughts matched, my ideas were well received. Both the meetings went well, I was all ready to bloom in his guidance. Plus he was also pretty young , so his ideas were not closed or constipated . All I needed to do was to work and prove a point. Which I was willing to do. So there is no problem right?
Wrong.

May 6, 2008
Turns out to be a really bad day. Well, When I got dressed for office that day , I didn’t know that. I had bought a new pair of formal shoes which I am almost in love with and a new bag( which is okay but formal looking to carry my pens , books and stuff like that) I was adamant that I am going to be organized. I remember singing in the morning and even had a huge breakfast made by my grandmother. What I am trying to say is that I was so happy and cheerful that morning on the way to office.

When I reached office, everybody was helpful. They told me that my new boss would be delayed and he would take a month and a half to be back. I was a little disappointed because he told me that he would be back in a week. But it didn’t really matter. They also gave a temporary system to work on. I was browsing extra carefully about the company website and looking at the marketing collaterals and a million ideas were taking form in my mind. “This is my calling”, I thought. Then, another colleague pops up and says.
"Namitha , Can I talk to you."
It's always a bad thing when someone says that they want to "talk". I should have been warned.
"Sure" I say in my most professional voice, with the right hint of a smile.
You know our boss is hospitalized. He wasn’t feeling well when he reached there. He collapsed and they had to call 911. His Liver has collapsed and even the kidney is not allright. He is almost in a coma. They have kept him in the life support."
My eyes start tingling and I walk to the loo.
I cry my eyes out. I cry for him because he was so young and vibrant and he did not deserve this. When he was giving me the brief, he would have been really ill and I had no clue. I cry for myself because now I have no idea where I stand. The tissue turns soggy in my hand and I hate that.

I come back to my bay composed and a little red eyed . ‘I should not let this bog me down’. I thought. And for conversation’s sake I asked a colleague as to who was previously using the system that was allotted to me. She says, "S".
"Where is he now", I ask.
"Well, he died of brain tumour ", she says.
Okay now I was getting psyched. So I must be the first person to be using this comp after that. I felt as if I was violating something.
Then after sometime, I learn that the HR head I met sometime back is in the hospital having a surgery.
The guy who was sitting next to me is on leave, because he has acute jaundice and it seems his eyes had become deep yellow.
Okay, so every is sick, dead or dying. Great.
I rush and met Lena for lunch and tell her about my jinxed joining.
She looks at me solemnly and says "it's the earring"
What, I ask? excuse me?
“The earring that you are wearing that you got from me yesterday. I think It's jinxed. Even when I wore it the other day and it turned out to be the worst day of my life , i swear. Just throw it somewhere”, she says vehemently.
In my state of mind that day, it didn’t take a second to be convinced that it was the earrings . So I removed it and hid it under the paper napkins. I dread to think about the fate of the person, who would find it. All said and done, the earrings were actully nice looking.
Well, do u believe it, after throwing the "jinxed " earrings, my luck became better. I meet a collegue whose wavelength really matched with mine. We hit it off. I did some constructive things too.

May 7, 2008.
My new boss is much better. He is gonna come back, everybody says. I do more constuctive things, have coffee machine chit chat and life almost becomes normal.

May 8, 2008
My new boss is off the Life Support. He has been shifted to a room.He is taking to people and asked something about the "super Kings" Also He is eating idlis . We are all happy. I even write a poem.

Leader , O, Leader

The leader lies in pain
in the foreign shores
unknowing that each moment
a tear falls in vain
Someone says "I know him
all these years
My mentor ....my friend"
"I am so lost."
Another says,
"I met him just yesterday
and it hurts
I am the clay waiting
to be moulded"
Eyes are bleary
Heart very heavy
Then someone says,
"Our leader is a fighter
he will be back
to guide us all".
And sun smiles in that office far far away from the leader
knowing in a weird way that he will be back.

No matter what.

May 12, 2008
That's today. He passed away.
His sister said that he didnt want to die till the last minute. He kept telling th doctors, "operate on me do something"
He just didnt give up.
I just met him thrice.
The first time when he interviewd me.
The second for the meeting about my role.
the third when he gave my kra's and put me on to people till he comes. I remember telling him "happy journey" I had no clue that he was even ill at that time.
I feel as if I’ve known him for a lifetime.
Also came to know that he's been battling cancer for 13 years and he is only 30.
Our leader was surely a fighter.
But the rules say that you cant win all the time. Though everybody wanted him to. Just this once.
May your soul rest in peace. I promise, I wont let you down.

2008-04-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

KAM+MOMMY= KAMMOMMY

My Baby and I

2008-04-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmm

I’ve officially put in my papers and signed an offer letter of another company. While signing the papers, there was no power in that office, the moment I signed, the power snapped on. The HR girl says that’s a good sign.

Well, I put in my papers on a warm boring day. It seemed like the most sensible thing to do. The earth didn’t shake. The flowers continued to bloom. Nobody is indispensable. Of course they asked me to stay. I am not going to.

What really changed after I put in my papers was my equation with people who I thought were my friends. They also put in their papers on me.I could see their eyes dim even before I am gone. My boss always said that you cant really have lasting friendships in office. So that’s that.

I’ve also given the boot to my stay-in cook. I just had to get rid of her, get rid of her stink that was becoming an integral part of the house. Since she doesn’t believe in taking baths, in spite of me imploring her to do so, I had to do the inevitable .

Its hectic even crazy but life goes on.....as usual.

2008-04-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

My Birthday- In Reverse Chronology

April 6th , 2008
Am officially 27

When the clock struck 12, Biju landed in my arms, hugging and singing Happy Birthday darling wife……

But I was thinking hmmmph , no cake, no flowers( not that I love flowers but still) and I started feeling grumpy on my birthday.

But suddenly , somebody starts banging on the door.

A yummy chocolate cake appears with a hyper lena and her roomie smitha.

They are singing “happy birthday to you……………….”

I start crying
a) because I didn’t expect it at all
b) because I saw the cake tat said... Happy birthday sexy ass
c) Because Lena took the effort to come all way just to make my b’day special
d) Also because I am turning old and becoming my mother. I think I will cry if a crow shits in saidapet…whatever.

And Lena asks me to play a game. Treasure hunt.

She had hid chits all over the house that afternoon , when I wasn’t at home.

Clue 1
You are obsessed with something?
Ans : Mirror

Other than you Biju is obsessed with…
Ans TV

I cushion an important part of your body
Ans Shoes

I am your favourite time Pass
Reading

I am available in the foem of chocolate icecream and..?
Hershlys

I am a part of kamia’s daily life
School bag

And Bingo…my gift lies in kamia’s bag.

I am ecstatic. It’s a watch. A digital waterproof, shock aborbant one I wanted for the gym( I am planning to start from Wednesday)

Afternoon Biju takes me out for lunch and we go shopping for my gifts.

He buys me an amazing fossil watch and puma shoes.

I love Biju truly madly deeply, with my whole being.

But sometimes, I hate him too….esp when the ferris wheel goes down and down

Well…we fought on April 5th ….and back to love on April 6th…cos the ferris wheel is high and its not gonna come down for some time. I am the queen of the sky sitting in my basket of the wheel.

Then it was dinner time.

Swati with green eyes, friend from college said nice things about me on stage…..

More haapy birthday singing
Cutting another cake
Smiles, laughter, bored complacency…general signs of wellbeing

We went berserk and clicked a lot of pics.

We were 5 of us and a toddler

Padma, salim, swati, biju, kamia and I.

It was a beautiful day.

2008-04-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

I AM STILL THE SAME + NEW GAME

Its soon gonna be april 6th...so whts the news?

asks Tys on Ice.

On April 6th I will be 27. I wanted to lose weight and post a pic in a bikini on my birthday. That I guess will have to wait. Still fat. Lost my resolve yet again and got my hair straightened. Still dont know driving. Still broke like last month and the month before that. Still have a messy desk and inbox. Over the years I haven’t changed a bit. it was cute to be all of this as a girl…in a woman it’s downright sloppy.

Not that I care. I am this way by choice.

Will try to be thin though.

Somebody told me to try this game…. Pretend that somebody extremely hot is watching you all the time. I have started playing this game and have stopped scratching my butt or put matchsticks in my ear( a disgusting habit that I have). I am smiling more often and even looking a lil sexy.

Ok . I am in a candid frame of mind. So I will let you on to a secret. Do you really wanna know who told me about this game.

It’s N-A-M-I-T-H-A.

Yea…I am still as silly as ever.

2008-03-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

LAZY, CRAZY AND HAZY

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My friend says that if someone looks at me, laziness would seep into their bones and they would never ever want to do anything constructive. I look perpetually bored and if laziness is a disease, I am dying.

Is it a crime to be bored?

Biju is busy working, Kamia is busy growing up and I am busy doing nothing. Actually it is an art to do nothing. It just takes up my whole time.

If I am not spending my lifetime in an auto, I am busy delivering work related things or having bored conversations with even more bored clients. Cut , Copy, Paste Then the traffic, the pollution, the clutter in my desk, in my inbox, my silly hair, puffy face , ever expanding waist , obstinate hormones don’t leave much for intellectual usage. So technically I am doing nothing.

My thoughts are cloudy and juvenile. I ‘ve become indifferent to compliments and irritated with criticisms. It’s like the whole world is moving at a rapid pace and I am just a railing of an unoccupied sea facing house. RUSTY.

The irony is, though I have not taxed my brains in a long time, I still don’t manage to sleep for 7 hrs plus or hit the gym.

I am actually happy. Can you believe it?

2008-03-26T02:35:00.000-07:00

Small is beautiful?

Increments, somebody told me are like peeing in a common loo. You are almost happy with yours till you see your neighbor’s.

I have a really small dick.

2008-03-06T03:59:00.000-08:00

'BOND'ED LABOUR

The Bond Girls with Boss

2008-03-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

In Search Of My Little Nest

Today after a break of 20 days, I hit the gym. After my workout I felt on top of the world, like nothing could ever stop me. The feeling lasted for an hour and then reality struck. People started talking to me about the ‘injustice’. And I was spiralling down. It‘s just not fair. Whatever I am talking about, you will never understand because for once I am not divulging all the details. If I do, a lot a people are going to be on the offensive and I cant afford to do it.

My friend cribs to death and I have joined her. We look at ourselves and think we could have done so much better. So why haven’t we? May be we should take some risks. It’s time to fly from the nest when you realize that the mother bird has become the stepmother.

PS; Just realised tat this is my 100th post.And this is not exactly how i would want this post to be.
Ideally it should have read like this.

I Love My Little Nest

I have been gymming for straight 20 days at a stretch and am feeling on top of the world. People have started talking to me about "it". And I just cant help being escactic. It's like slyly eating a chocolate fantasy during a formal meeting.
Why is Life so beautiful? Watever I am talking about you will never understand cos for once i am not telling you all the details. I dont want to jinx the luck. The "evil eye", i cant afford to get it.

My friend is always happy discussing this. Well...i've have joined her. We look at ourselves and think wow! we have evolved , become much better. There is no place like being in your own lil nest. After all that's where you became who you are....

What do you think?

2008-03-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

I auto* blog more.....

I am always blogging in my mind…mostly when I am in the auto. One thought leads to another . Bitchy remarks…satires…philosophies….wishes…dreams.

And today when I visit my blog, I find nothing. No post at all.

It was just yesterday I made that story about David the foreigner going down on Mallika , the Iyer girl….I think that story would click and most importantly I like the story.

I was also thinking that I love the name Zulaika…..If I were a muslim I would want to be Zulaika Zoyab(I think the surname goes well). Exotic….radical….and smelling of an Arabian flower. There is a house in Khader Nawaz Khan Road called Zulaika. I wonder who she is.

There was another post that I half finished, when I was angry with Biju for ignoring me and wanting to work. It was a revenge fantasy. It goes like this. He would have a friend who looks like Shiny Ahuja ( yea rite) and who want to drive me and kamia around . Lets name him Ashish…hmmmm…not Ashish , Its obivious and kind of sissy. Rajiv it is. This Rajiv would obviously and secretly love me. But I would be always be trying to match him with my girl friends while Rajiv downs orange juice thinking of me and Biju would be burning with jealousy…and I would be oblivious to all this …always smiling .
I told you that It's a fantasy…

Hmmm……also I am beginning to think that Bitchy man is okay or it could also be him putting on an act.

I am also not been going to the gym after the last actual post but been toying with the idea of taking a Before and After Pic. But what if I get stuck with my Before Pic forever?

And there are so many other mundane posts……

At this moment my blogs during the auto rides coyly marry the blogs that stay in my real blog. There are gonna live in ooopsmommy happily ever after …even if I am gone.

Good Night.

2008-03-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

CHEERS..........

for wat?

i'l tell u on April 6th.

Watch this space.....

2008-02-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

GONNA GYM

I am 61.8 kgs and having abdominal obesity according to my Gym instructor. Joined a gym today. Tomorrow is my first work out day. So today I had to forcefully eat the 150 gms of horribly expensive chocolate almonds that I bought from a choc boutique. Tomorrow I will start on a clean slate.

Its an all woman’s gym. Yuck. Women stare more than the men and are more judgmental.

Whatever.

I have to lose weight.

PS; I have painted my nails and toes red. Nobody noticed except for the auto driver.

2008-02-05T21:33:00.000-08:00

Sleeping Together

Deep ,dead to the world
The fan is noiseless
The tap drips in vain
Thoughts are unborn
Limp in the crook of an arm
She sleeps

Snaking, slithering,
Teasing, warming,
Holding , hugging
Locking, Loving
Explosion of breathing
And drifting
Limp in the crook of an arm
She sleeps

She wakes up to light
And knows
That it was no dream.
While dead to the world
He sleeps.

She smiles.

2008-02-05T01:09:00.000-08:00

What Should Mary do?

I have always believed that a woman is a woman’s worst enemy. My boss says that I have some stereotypical philosophies, which is not supported by rhyme or reason. This I guess is definitely one of them. It was the women who mostly let me down , told my dark deep secrets told in confidence to the world. Of course there were some men who did the same but they were easily conquered with smiles or tears. So it was a surprise more of a shock and definitely shattering my philosophy when I found out that the backbiter was not the woman but my friend, the bitchy man.

It ‘s very difficult to deal with him because he has the vile of the woman and the strength of a man. He knows how to look into my eyes and tell me a lie unflinching. He knows how to smirk the moment my back turns. He knows how to pitt two people against each other. He knows to be emotional and yet be powerful. He knows the game well.

With a woman, I know what to expect. With him, I just have no idea. I have two choices. One , to forget and forgive thinking that this does not make any difference in the larger scheme of things and continue to smile at him or stoop at his level and continue to smile at him.

I haven’t yet decided what to do. I am amused .

Mary had a bitchy friend
Bitchy friend
Bitchy friend
His coat was white as snow
(or so Mary thought)

And everywhere that Mary went
The bitchy Man was sure to go.
……………………..

So now you tell me what Mary should do. I promise she will listen.

2008-02-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

Blues of 2008

This is a bad year for me….well it looks like. Jan was bad ,Feb looks worse. Happiness is eluding me. There were flashes in between when I thought that things would be better. And then it just disappeared like all the things in life that we want the most but cant have. May be I am just exaggerating. I am an exaggerator. A tragedy queen. A self pity lover.
And I am all of it today.

For starters I cried my eyes out. And it’s puffy which I don’t like one bit. My whole body is aching and my neck is locked in a permanent sprain. My hair , I have long ago realized can never be my best feature, is matted and static. Just ate two perks now and the sugar is only adding to my misery. So hence this year for me is doomed.

I don’t know why I am so miserable. Just small little things that escalate to big things. Some people think that I am a bitch because I am always happy( read look happy) and wear clothes that doesn’t look like a purdah . They think that my only mission in life is to shop and be frivolous. They just cant take it. So now I know I won’t win any popularity contests. I don’t want to. I won the most popular girl award when I was in 7th std. It feels like long ago. It was long ago.

There are some good parts too. Angels who pop out of somewhere unexpectedly and do little things that make a huge difference. Today an angel make me smile briefly and the irony was I had no idea that he would become this unexpected angel. Thought he was a demon all along. Oh God! this sounds like a love story . It is not. It’s about a gesture that made a huge difference to me. Even if I tell you, you wont get it and it’s work related.

Just read wat I wrote. I sound like a loser. May be I am. You cant win every day even if you want to. And life is not always about tequila and smiles. It’s also about days like this when even white is black.

On the flip side, since the year 2008 started out to be boring and bad with me on a losing streak, it’ll end with me having ridden the waves well…strong, triumphant and successful. Amen to that. ( I like ending posts on a good note).

2007-12-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

The Bestest

In my heart of hearts I believe in certain things that are not so rational. Sometimes it’s these little things that make life so worthwhile. We were at a shopping mall yesterday. My friend, her son , Kamia and my cousins. We were all having a nice time. The kids were playing but at the back of my mind, I was irritated ( you cant blame me., I was PMSing). I was thinking. Here I am with a bunch of kids and really tired. Where is Biju?. Why cant he be a part of this.So irritating. Fucking working all the time. I am so fed up ………

But I was smiling. In between Kamia had to pee twice. Somewhere around the time when we were eating, she spilt some sauce over herself and I had to take her for a wash. When I came back, My friend’s eyes were teary.

“You know what….Your husband called” She says, “ You’ve saved him as The Bestest on your phone.My husband used to call me that. For a moment I thought……

I did not want to say.

May be it’s a sign. In my heart of hearts, I believe that my friend‘s husband is telling her that she is the bestest. Still his bestest no matter what. I know she believes that.

My friend's husband is no more. And even after 9 years it hurts.

Here I am taking my bestest for granted , cribbing and comparing and criticizing. I am gonna make each living moment memorable because life is so scary and I can be really stupid at times.

2007-12-07T11:09:00.000-08:00

OLDIE'S GOLDIE

When I was 20 and in college, only 18 year old guys had crushes on me. Some of them were really cute but I had a mental block about dating guys who were younger than me even by a day. So that meant , I had to date the older and the not so happening guys. I had deviated from my self imposed rule once or twice and it wasn’t really worth it.

Today, somebody looks into my eyes and says “I am so enamoured by your personality and goodness, you rock…..biju is so lucky….If you weren’t married and weren’t carrying the child, I would have proposed to you right now”. This somebody is 58 years old and the head of a company.( my father’s age). The part of my personality that I exhibited was laughing out loud and yawning when he tried to pass an SMS forward as a joke. The goodness part if any was my ability to concentrate more on the food than his inane talk. “I like you”, he says….And suddenly I am a magnet that attracts old guys.

The oldies are winking at me and telling their sob stories. They are complimenting me and flirting with me politely. The young ones are calling me Aunty, even my senior in college.

I don’t like it one bit.

I feel like Mona darling.
-------------------------------------------------------------
How’s me?( That is if you care to know)

I lost 1000 bucks….somebody I know got sacked…..my hubby’s become some head or the other which means longer hours and more nagging from my side. My daughter is thinner. I am fatter than yesterday.My hair is half curly and granny is sick. My brother is indifferent and mom too intrusive . My in laws feel like a figment of imagination, so out of sight. Also found out that there are no true lasting friendships in office. There’s a hidden agenda to everything. I bought something really expensive for myself that looks like a cheap bauble. Am unhappy about that, so money cant buy happiness.

2007-12-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

Eating your cake….
Yesterday Sleazy told me “’I ‘ve left something at your desk, its soft like your tits”. I was not shocked out of my senses nor did I feel angry. Little irritated. Yes. And nothing more.

When I did reach office, The something on my desk turns out to be a brown bread cake with chocolate filling. I ate it no remorse. I needed sugar. Besides it was really yummy.

Poor Sleazy, so obviously sleazy and insignificant.

It’s the non-obvious ones that scare me. Once one of my best friend touched me the wrong way. Yes, there are right ways and wrong ways. I felt indignation, shock and disbelief and for some weeks didn’t speak to him. I felt angry when the friendly old man tried to grope me, because I didn’t expect it .

I like to be prepared. I like my pepper spray in my hand. I like the feeling that I know what you are up to. I like to bash you up and then create a scene soothing my melodramatic nerves.

Sleazy, You can talk shit all you want but God forbid the day you try to touch me the wrong way. Until then I don’t mind eating your cake or talking to you.

2007-11-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by Shoonyata. Before I go on , I want to let you all on a secret. I had no idea how this ‘being tagged’ worked. So whoever who’s tagged be before and I’ve been unresponsive, apologies. I was truly ignorant. Thanks Nags for enlightening me.

So here goes.

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME.
1)At one point in my life, I used to wear my hubby’s briefs. Just like that. I am not a cross dresser. Well….I think he didn’t mind. And when he made fun of me. I tell him “at least I am not sleeping with anyone else”. We share our tooth brush. Oooops that’s the second random fact.

3)I had a cat called Sooty, who was used to curl on my lap when I was in School. She had a kitten whom we named Kiss Mee. I miss both of them esp Sooty

4)My friend since childhood, Megha and I used to discuss dreams in her room with apple green curtains, back home in Kannur. It was mostly the same dream. Some really hot guy trying to “act smart’ with us and of course we hate it . In reality, we were frumpy and hairy legged and kids so forget the hot guy even looking at us. Then one day Megha is gone, before even the hot guy could “act smart”. Before even I could say bye properly. I miss her on days like today, when I want to talk to someone who knew me from when I had the Janet Jackson hairstyle.

5)I think I was the most creative when I wrote during my heart breaks. Today I am grateful to all the guys who broke my heart cos otherwise I would have been a loser slogging in a weird multi lingual family, fasting and pleasing orthodox inlaws.( all the guys were either deformed, dark, ugly and spoke bad English). Really…what was I thinking?

6)I day dream when I travel by auto or have conversations in my mind, where I speak my mind and get away with it.

7) I want to write a book some day.

2007-11-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

I looooooooooooove bijku. he just gave me a laptop. its our 3 rd anniversary today....will tell u more tommorrow......

2007-11-04T21:54:00.000-08:00

The Queen in Me

I thrive in melodrama like a mushroom that thrives in dampness. When I have a fight with biju over something trivial, I have to shed at least a bucket of tears. If we are fighting in the car, I have to bang the car door and run on the road with tears streaming and kajal smudged. If I am crying at home, I watch myself in the mirror and drown in self pity. And If have pimples and cold, then the melodrama is more intense.

There are things that I hate but can’t be dispassionate about. I have to show my disgust rolling my eyes, smirking and contorting my face in all possible angles…..

I am melodramatic when I fight
When I love
When I am silly
When I am sad
When I look at the sky
And stare into nothingness

The Melo Queen is most supreme on Monday mornings like today. I sigh looking at the monitor.Is this what I want to do? What is it that I want to do? The vision of a bed, half made ( I have never made a bed till now) beckons me. The AC is always not working on a Monday. I am fat on a Monday morning and ugly and irritable and cranky.

Snap out of it. When you don’t have shoes, think about the person with no legs.

I have 30 pairs of shoes and legs.

I am blessed.

And she goes to sleep, the Melo Queen in me. For now.

2007-10-18T05:04:00.000-07:00

The Greatest Actress of them all

Mirror , Mirror on the wall
Who is the greatest actess of them all
It’s you, It’s you……
Me?
No , Ramani
Ramani who?

Read on

Oct 16th was Bosses day and as usual I had to take the begging bowl to make people contribute some money. Thankfully many did. We ordered a cake, and got him a Ravi Varma painting( fake of course) for the boss.

We put up a show too…..I was Lola Kutty. Everybody clapped , people who liked me, hated me and they said “ Ay you are such a good actress, wat are you doing here”.

All’s well that ends well or so I thought.

I rushed home waiting to see Ramani at the door , ready with the chappatis and lemonade.
But when I finally reached home, I found the calling bell badly damaged. I started banging the door.

“Aiyooooooo Amma, I am really sick…have high fever and loose Mosan”, she wheezed feebly.

I thought she was going to die. At least she looked it. So I made her lime tea which she drank like a dying Nirupama roy in a melodramatic flick.

She also kept rolling her eyes in a weird psychotic manner interspaced with dying moans.

I almost had a vision of her lunging a knife into me , which I uneasily ignored and frantically called Biju . Meanwhile she was still writhing in the carpet.

Biju to his credit came home in 10 minutes flat. We bundled her to the hospital. I was almost hugging her. Her stink mingling with my Davidoff. I was half repulsed and half teary. Repulsed thinking what she did with the deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, talc, lux soap that I bought her two days ago not to mention the sarees and blouses I got from aunty’s place so that she smells like a lily, looking after kamia and being almost one of us. Teary , because I thought that she was dying.

At the hospital, she was lying in a fetal position moaning and writhing. The hospital authorities insisted in getting the medical file , the card etc which cost a bomb.
Her BP is normal, Temperature is normal. For the “Loose Mosan”, the doc gave some pills.

Doc, should we admit her ?
No, she is not critically ill.
Is she faking it?
I think she is exaggerating a bit.

The cheque of Rs 4000 got realized that day and Ramani’s sudden

So Ramani came home with us, writhed more in the carpet, ate the food I gave her, while I washed her plates and learnt to live with her stink.

The next morning, she was still lyin on the carpet but this time clutching her heart. By night, the pain had traveled to her chest.

Ok Ramani, you can go.

Her bags were already packed some time in between the writhing.

The cheque of Rs 4000 that we had given to the maid agency had realized the day Ramani fell sick.

One Plus One makes two and perfect sense.

Ramani, My maid of 2and a half days, You my dear, are the greatest actress of them all.

2007-10-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

Good things happen to good people... even to slightly bad people....

I was just surfing through my comp and found lots of moments that i wanted to be a part of this blog. One day , I am gonna be old and i am gonna look at these pics and think....Those were the days......
Nov 27,2004
Once a upon a time i met lots of losers, almost became a magnet for losers. Then one fine day, I went to a nightclub and fell in love with a stranger. He asked me to marry me right then. I said "yes". Three months later this pic happens.....and nine months later Kamia happens..well that's our story.
When we had eyes only for each other.......

The day after the wedding. Biju had fever and i felt great being married....( funny biju was feverish on the wedding day too...but i'd like to think that's cos he is HOT) okay...poor joke..

Two days before my wedding. this photographer made me pose and of course i obliged happily. That's the watch my grandmother gave me for the wedding. I lost it some months later ...well that's another story.

The previous day of my wedding(Nov 26th 2004). That's Afnan( we are not in touch now), Supriya( she is in delhi now) , Me , Meghana my cousin ( when we fight, she used to blackmail me into givin my lipstick to her), Auxilia( My woman friday...the amount of money she has lent me.....).

Well...i fought with Biju this day at night over something silly. I told my mother that I didnt want to get married, she became hysterical but by morning I woke up happy and all ready to get married.

I think Kamia was a month old there. That's ammamma carrying her ...that is Kamia's great grandmother....My hair's long and nice here(sigh)

Kamia a year ago....beena auntie sent me this snap thru email.

7 months old. I think i took this pic and yeahhhhh..... she was smiling at me.

Kamia 6 days old . she has a dimpled chin....

Kamia 2-3 days old . It was Biju's idea to turn her around like this. Sometime after this pic we had to take her to the hospital for photo theraphy. I cried and biju smoked a cigarette something , he hadnt done after marriage. Doctor told us it's nothing serious but still.....

Sometime in Aug 2004, three 0r four days after Kamia was born again taken on Biju's cell phone. Kamia was only 2.3 kgs. Every body said"Oh she is so tiny". And i was thinking....why are they saying that....She has hands, legs and everything. She looks exactly like Biju.

This pic was taken in july 2oo4, i was 7 1/2 months pregnant. Biju had come to see me at my mom's place and he was leaving to chennai that day. I had just taken a bath and was feelin sad that he was leavin. he took this picture from his cell phone. This is the window of my bedroom...where i used to look out for Biju when he came to see me while Kamia grew in me...

2007-09-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you Blog Bashers ...

amrita has left a new comment on your post "Bingo !!! Yesterday I was in front of the mirror ...": ur blog is so boring.. there is nothing worth reading in it..bein open is really good but u r just using it for no good.. is it 2 attract more people.. i think u show off 2 much..anyway i didnt like ur blog

Tina has left a new comment on your post " Actually I care I just realised that nobody read...": your blog is stupid and no wonder noone is reading it.. anyway i wil not make the mistake of goin thru this stupid blog again..

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "My Mother’s & Mine My feet is in tandem With the ...": iam sorry 2 say this but people like u r the ones who are more bothered about money than ur loved ones..even ur daughter.. and i find ur blog boring and some of ur work outrageous

AND what do I have to say?

Yawn yawn......this blog is not about global warming. It's about ME and my flab....and mostly for me to know what i was thinking and when .Nobody is asking you to read it. Weird that when u found it so borin , you still took the trouble to post comments. So sweet.
@ Anonymous- you are such a coward that you cant even assume an identity when you say things like that. Are you a good nanny? May be you can help.

All your comments came the same day, around the same time . I know who you are. My only advice darlings is ……

Eat sugar.....it helps..

PS: I know more hate mail will come but I looooooooove publicity even negative. muuuuuuah and thank you so much for your comments :-)

2007-09-18T03:55:00.000-07:00

ET GOLF PARTY: When I just couldnt stop smiling

...this guy looks familiar

i love Sangeetha Rao. Check out her tatoo

seriously i think i should stop smilin........

Beware: side effects of smiling too much:Becoming squint eyed and fat.

2007-08-27T05:18:00.000-07:00

Things people told me today and what I told them

Happy Onam ( a million times)
Me : Happy Onam to you too

I don’t want to work with you. For you this is a past time. For me it’s work.
Me : I am sorry. I wont repeat this.

I didn’t realize your face is so big. Is it a swelling?
Me: That’s cos ur face is so small.

Do you want to be the rat’s head or the lion’s tail?
Me: I hate rats.

I think somebody bitched about you.
Me: yeaaaaa

What sort of a woman are you?
Me: I am strong and independent. That’s what everybody says anyways.

2007-08-22T05:02:00.000-07:00

Bingo !!!

Yesterday I was in front of the mirror nude. And the whispers began. I need to lose some kilos here. A lot more there.I wished I could pinch all the flab away. Then the mental picture of Shilpa Shetty in Metro with her gorgeous back floated somewhere in between my chubby back with generous love handles. That’s when I actually thought. Yes, I am losing weight. If I had told this to Lena.I am sure she would say, “What’s wrong with you? what are you thinking? Why do u always compare yourself with the stars…..blah blah". I am not comparing but you know what I mean rite?

It was raining. That meant I couldn’t go for a walk. So I switched on the music, dabbed lots of olive oil over myself and started dancing in the nude. I could see the fat move. It’s narcissistic and I am not bored. Then I decided that I need to put on my bra cos I definitely dont want my boobs to sag. Bingo! I am gonna dance the fat away.

I am gonna look like Shilpa Shetty. Don’t u smirk…this pic is actually hers.

There is hope. For us all.

2007-08-21T02:44:00.000-07:00

Whats happenin with me?

Well I am not dead. Not yet. So here goes.

My boss is pissed off with me. My mom still fights with me. I still hate some people. I have put on some weight( the bad jelly belly kind but can be camouflaged with clever creative dressing). Got a facial that costs 2 grand, which made look and feel like shit. I ‘ve put on weight. Ate a burger with extra chesse and maxi size with a chocolate mousse cake today. Kamia turned two, two days ago ( on 19th). We had a cute chocolate cake of Tom and Jerry. She is my masterpiece. Kamia , not the cake. I can’t bake to save my life. Yesterday I was in the train to Chennai. Now i am in office looking busy.( actually i did some constuctive stuff today).

“Underarm” Dealings in the train

He: ……I love doin that to a woman….have an under arm fetish…..love biting them….
Me: really?
He: yea….it’s like kissing the ear…
Me: Can I tell you a secret that can shock you?
He: ( wets his lips looking hopeful ) shock me? Don’t ask me to go away or slap me. Nothing else can shock me.
Me: I am married
He: yeah?
Me: and I have a baby
He : I think I need a smoke.

I am sure that he wished he had not shared his dinner that his mom made with me.
I also told him that the dark uncle lying next to us has nice huge pheromonic underarms in case…..

I like him like I like Micky Mouse or Donald Duck.

2007-07-17T03:00:00.000-07:00

Disaster on casual Friday @ office

From Me......

to Minnie Mouse

(Yes, I was embarassed)

2007-07-12T01:05:00.000-07:00

And what happened?

I’ve been hibernating for a while. Hmmmm…as you can see I have woken up.Here’s what happened. My laptop’s gone to a senior guy , my hair’s lil better, I had a horribly expensive lunch at the Park on a whim when I was broke( credit card of course), I met kamia, Have made a strategy to finally clear my credit card bills for good. Swimming is still something that has eluded me, can float a lil though (missed many classes) That’s me on a nut shell this month.
…………………………………………………………………………………..
W-20

It can’t get slimmer than this

W-20 is not something that I aspire for, though it’s another matter that I can never get it. After the craze for the iphone, W- 20 seems to be the next must have, at least in the circle that I stick out, like a sore thumb by possessing a W-30.

In case you still don’t get it, this W-20 is the 20-inch waist size casually cultivated by deliberately starving by pretending to work and thus missing breakfast, lunch and dinner. The only form of nourishment would be the endless supply of black sugarless coffee or green tea sans sugar. A typical W-20ite has to have a sharp acumen, great reflexes in avoiding potentially fattening (god forbidden) social gatherings by some how finding “work” to do. This means disappearing during cutting the gooey chocolaty calorie laden birthday cakes and thus giving their share of the birthday cake to the calorie inclined yucky W-30+.

Work could be anything from molesting Google in all permutations. Changing and rearranging photos on Orkut album showing the latest W-20, or long phone conversations strictly with a worried expression or interspaced with “sir” …Maa,m”. The favourite line of a W-20 ite is “ I eat so much”. Flared hips are a sacrilege akin to eating fried potatoes or white rice. White is the colour of nightmare for them. Rice is for pigeons or iyer aunties, cheese is for obese, milk is for cows, sugar is an endearment and eggs are meant to be thrown during bad performances. Black coffee is for the W- 20ites. Hosannas to Black coffee.

The irony of the W-20 culture is that, they want to be W-20 to avoid bulges in one way and to attract bulges in another way. Yea, it’s confusing.

2007-06-21T03:04:00.000-07:00

DEATH OF A PRINCESS

When I was younger, I wanted to look like a princess. Nothing in my wardrobe made me look like one. Those were my paltry pocket money days, so I couldn’t afford those fancy wasteful dresses on a whim. Then one day I was talking to Omana Aunty ( though she is only 9 yrs older than me, I call her aunty and she hates it) about my princess whim.
She said that she had a dress like that and I could wear it for a day. I still remember that dress, long and shimmering in burnished gold making me feel like a princess. I was so happy that day.
After that day no dress I bought gave me that kind of happiness.
Yesterday I had just bought a dress, black n sleek when I got the call. She passed away. Not even one, beautiful with two dimples, who in her innocence thought that a metal screw was something yummy. “She looked like a princess”, her grandfather said. Omana Aunty’s lil one.

Shreya you are god’s bestest princess. Please tell him to take care of your Amma and all the people who will miss you every breathing moment.

2007-06-15T01:18:00.000-07:00

NO MERCY

I finished my third swimming class today at 8 am.

My routine to make this happen

Where’s the AC remote?”, My hubby whispered in my ear. It was 5:30 am , the time of the day I have never seen after the the 10 th std maths board exam. I woke up with a nagging feeling. I could hear thunder.
Shit , I want to sleep. I haven’t had 8 hours of sleep from a long time.
Sleep sweet child
Eyes shut, dead to the world
Over exerted knees, permanent neck pain, baby you need sleep
You need it darling to kiss those dark circles away
Sleep honey sleep…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So I woke up, boiled 3 glasses of warm water and drank it in one shot. I could feel the bile rise. Packing a super huge sports bag with the essentials, shampoo, conditioner, sunscreen (though it never works) n office clothes and blah blah , I was off to my third swimming class . Auto muthu was waiting for me …yea at 6:30am.

Everybody has unanimously agreed that she hates me the most. “She” refers to Mercy, the swimming instructor with no mercy. She hit me on the head today for the fourth time from yesterday. And I wasn’t all that bad. I think she knows instinctively that I am a sport and terrified of her. She hates Lena (my friend and colleague) too. But not as much as me. She is tolerant of slobbering people who are definitely worse than us. But I think I don’t really hate her. She is okay. May be she may try to murder me tomorrow. (I am not too sure n not a schizophrenic).

I have tanned, caned and been humiliated. Yet I am happy because I don’t want to drown….not even in a moment of sadness.

2007-06-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

RAIN,RAIN COME AGAIN

I am going home tomorrow ,to be that lil girl who danced in the Kerala rain pretending to be the Liril girl, with my lil girl.

Home here I come

2007-06-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

ALL MIGHTY FIGHTS

There are two kinds of fights,
The one where I want to walk away
But I can’t cos the love’s still alive
I love these fights
They just mean
That I want to see the more of you
That you have loud voice
When you scream
I am crying because
I have tear ducts
I am throwing a tantrum
Cos I have tested positive for
Attention deficiency.
( Hubby n mom come under this)

The other one
brews in the mind
Brownie points for
Every subtle insult
Backbiting
Bitching
yet no screaming
but hating while smiling
( PL , Leather Pants, MIL, SIL …if ever you read this , you know wat I mean)

2007-06-03T23:16:00.000-07:00

A WALL SANS GRAFFITI

Yesterday I gave the cleaning lady 100 bucks and bourbon biscuits and creamy coffee because I thought she made a face at the mess. Yesterday was also the day when the other maid walked out. She’s the one who cooks a bit and baby-sits, watches serials in a 29-inch TV, eats exotic fruits from my fridge and sleeps in a room with a 2-ton AC blasting through the night. We gave her 3000 thousand bucks for this. May be she wanted 5000 bucks, more exotic fruits, longer TV watching hours and no baby to look after. May be.

And how do I feel today? It’s a Monday morning. I am at office wearing casuals, having a bad day and a bad hair/face/body/mind day. There were two roads in front of me. I chose the one that said career+ family. The other one said Housewife. I didn’t want to be a housewife. It’s almost like being a wall with no identity , something like a glorified maid. But as I sit in the office, I am thinking about the baby, the heart breaker maid and my appointments with clients in the afternoon (when I’ll get roasted and dehydrated and more tanned). Oh for a book to curl to and a baby to play with and the luxury of putting face packs and conditioner in the hair. It’s not so bad , I guess to be that wall with no identity.

2007-05-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

PUSSY LICKIN SERIES-Part 2
The Vicious Circle

Leather pants looked smug like a cat that has managed to just lick the cream from the chocolate milkshake. It’s a hat trick that she has achieved, the third person she has given the pink slip in a row. SHE is god and felt really good. And if one could peer into the botoxed forhead that encased her mind, you could almost hear a purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and a really lazy MEAOW. She waited patiently for the PR girl to call. A call she waited every day to snub. Every day it would follow the religious pattern. She would pick the phone only at the last ring.
“Helllllllooooooo”( fake drawl) Leather Pants Here
“Ma’am”( stutter) a nervous pause. “This is Priya”
“Priya Who?”
“I am a consultant from PR Mix”
Listen, D-O-N-T disturb me, I am in a meeting. Do you understand?
CLICK.
She sipped the sugarless, tea less, tea .PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Meanwhile the “Third Person”, felt like shit. He read and re read the same lines , …Your services have been terminated with due….” The fact that he was eating pea nuts didn’t help either. No More Pea nuts. , he thought .And like that other two before him he muttered with genuine interest “ I want to kill that bitch”. Slowly it got to him and he started to cry. His extension rang for the last time. He answered .
"Hello"( muffled and Pathetic)
"Sir, this is Priya from PR Mix. Is it a good time to speak to you?"
"Actually it’s the best "( sarcastic)"yea?"
"Sir we are doing an event with an NGO for AIDS awareness……. nice if you could cover the event"
"Shut the @#$% up ,you @#$%^"
"Excuse me sir?"
"You women are all alike. You @#$%^ squeeze us …inside out…kill our spirit….blah blah….."
Sob
Click

In a PR firm some where in a dingy lane in Saidapet where the air conditioning has not worked in a week, Priya the Consultant started tearing her hair and crying …for no reason or so the others thought. “ I am a failure …I don’t wanna live”, she sobbed into her hands. Her rage translated to the phone somersauling into the newly bought computer instantly cracking its screen.
“Get out Ma, You are fired” barked the self styled MD of PR Mix Mr Narayana Moorthy.
But Priya had lost it, to even hear it.

The ambulance could not be maneuvered into that particular narrow lane in Saidapet. The attenders rushed with the stretcher to PR Mix. It was the day of Agni nakshatra and the sun was ferocious in assault.
Some body was wailing …Aiya yooooooooo
Aiya yooooooooooo
Aiya yoooooooo
“ it’s serious ya”
“Poor thing”
By the time the hospital attenders trudged up the stairs, Mr Narayana Moorthy
was still.
At the hospital, the doctor told the petrified son of Mr Narayana Moorthy”We’ll do our best, It’s a Heart Attack”.

Leather Pants rubbed her hands for warmth and cursed her cold contemporary office.
In her blog she wrote…”Another Borin Day wer nothing happened…Somebody gimme a job where I can cause some ripple…Ciao”

2007-05-17T04:26:00.000-07:00

Am I alive? Yup…barely
Wat was I up to?
Here’s everything in a nutshell.
Got a brand property launched
Bought some make up
Flirted with an actor
Fought with hubby, made up
Played with Kamia
Got burnt in the sun
Got knees damaged permanently
Made enemies with a friend
Got huger credit card bills
Vooooooooooooo
Tat’s kickin alive!

2007-05-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

PUSSY LICKER

Anybody who is thinking right would assume that someone with the tag of a pussy licker is a serial pornophile or some really desperate man. Wrong. Enter boy crazy woman who pretends to be 24 for the past god knows how long, tries to hit on anything that is fair skinned with the required testosterone levels . Okay we have established that PUSSY LICKER is a boy crazy woman (not the unassuming lesbian). It should be the other way round right?

“…Okie Ma’am….”
“Sure why not….”
“..Do you need an orange juice?..”
Slurp Slurp…….

Ma’am being the closed frustrated 50 yr old spinster who in my opinion would have been a bad lay, loves to be pussy licked, treated like Angelina Jolie in Africa. So Pussy licker goes overboard.
“Ma’am, how do you manage to look so beautiful ?
( Ma’am pretends to look busy but is secretly orgasmic)

“ love what you are wearing” (an inappropriate fake leather pants on a really hot day in a badly air conditioned office)
Ma’am lips curl into a smile

“ Leela says that you look like her mother….Ma’am can I get you coffee?”
Ma’am tries not look to look pissed off. Leela is the oily, obese hardworking girl in the office, competition to PL , now blacklisted forever by ma’am.

More slurpings later. Ma’am gives PL a promotion, a salary hike and flexible working hours. And Leela gets to sit in a corner completely ignored ,doing all the real work round the clock, never getting to fit into fake leather pants on a hot day in a poorly air conditioned office.

PL finally fell in love with a fair skinned boy studyng in 12th std who’s on suspension in school for bashing up a girl who refused to sleep with him. Ma’am got vainer and permanently sealed her fate as a frustrated spinster by buying more fake leather pants.
Leela quit the job and got married to a skinny IIT’ian who has the hots for fat oily women.

Moral of the story :
Don’t judge the book by it’s cover, who would have thought that Pussy Licker is actually a clean happily ever after story.

Every dog has it’s day.(even obese ones)

P Lickin works.

2007-04-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

Another Client Call

Mr So and So looks at my cleavage for the hundredth time. By now I am not even offended. The funniest part is I am not even showing any cleavage. As I go on and on about exciting communication strategies which are in reality gimmicks for Mr So and So’s company to cough up some money which in turn would go to the kitty of my Big Big bosses who would in turn drive bigger cars and go on a Swiss holiday every summer.

Remembering that my deadlines are near, I turn into a pest putting my patronizing whiny voice. Mr Cleavage Starer wakes up, actually listens to me for a second and realizes that my face was not so bad after all. Now I have a lech staring at me. I wet my lips in discomfort. He follows suit. Then for some really weird reason I picture some hot air coming from the fat ugly parched lips. Controlling the urge to laugh uncontrollably I cough. Mr CS gets up to get me a glass of water. A really fat white buffalo trying to be agile but somehow failing. I look at his fat arms, dimpled and somehow cute.

A moment of enlightenment blinds me. He is 42 years old weighs 100kg +, Most likely on the net as Hot Male 30. If you don’t count virtual sex, has not had real sex for years.
Loves to stare at cleavages (which of course is obvious). Loves his mother, hates the father. He gets treated by his boss like a big piece of shit and cannot take any decision officially even if it involves the colour of the toilet paper. He is harmless, has a million rakhi sisters who don’t bother to keep in touch. I like him once I know him.

So I ask for a coffee, brewing in mind my creative communication solutions for a real decision maker. He asks me something but I have already put him on an ignore mode. He says something like “May be we could work something out”. I smile like Julia Roberts without showing any teeth and I am thinking May be you should work out fatso ( not that I am thin but you know) Do you have a B-O-S-S dude? I smile again in thin air. My wandering eyes spy a pic on one of the shelves. Mr CS with a blonde woman? Mr CS with a blonde extremely good looking woman? And that too in a bridal attire?.....which makes them husband and wife? Shit.

Mr CS looks at me stonily, says he is busy and walks out . I follow him out confused and chastened. I see him get into long black merc with a fancy number plate . I stop an auto and start to bargain the rate. Beep! The week old blackberry startles me. A scrap for me in orkut.

HOT MALE 30: lol

2007-04-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to a "Virgin"

Behind tinted glass
Her lips are smudged
Arms n legs entangled
Cheeks in heat rouged
Cry without class
Pious in nature
O God, O God, O God

Knock Knock Knock
"Open the door",
screams the cop.
"Who are you ?"
He asks , in disgust.
"Just a virgin", she says.
…………………………………………………………
Swati(Rishi) called me as I finished writing this. And this is what transpired.

Me: So what do you think?
Swati: You have lost your touch. This is not even bitchy. And why are you writing like that author who put her head in the oven. What's her name?
Me: Sylvia Plath?
Swati: Yeaaaaaaaa…"Rouged"? (in disgust)
Me: Let's rework
Swathi: The first para has to go.

CHECK OUT THE IMPROVISED VERSION.

Dedicated to a "Virgin" ( The title stays)

In the back seat of the car
Her lips are swollen
And legs spread wide open
Flushed with horniness
She cries out
Harder, Faster, Harder….

Knock Knock Knock (2nd para stays)
"Open the door",
screams the cop.
"Who are you ?"
He asks , in disgust.
"Just a virgin", she says
-----------------------------------
Which one do you dig?

2007-04-22T12:09:00.000-07:00

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

Act 1

The bunch of vultures hovered around waiting for me to die. I am for sure , looking tired and they were hoping that I would be the meal that day.

Vulture no 1: She is nice but don’t you think that she is wearing tight clothes?Yesterday she was looking darker. Wearing foundation do you think? She is dumb or at least pretends to be.But she is nice.

Vulture no 2: What the hell is that hubby doing letting her wear such tight clothes and that too she has a big butt. She is not wearing foundation, just become fair da. You will also if you sit and park your butt in the office .yea, She is nice only.

Vulture no 3 : ( who has managed to shit on my seat and tear it to shreds) : Aiyoo, stop the bitchin.(smirk)

Vulture 1&2 : O black eyed dudette
Die, Die, Die
Give us a morsel
Of gossip n scandal
to make us well
Or else we’ll kill

(In a frenzy ) : Die, Die , Die

Then, out of the blue, my laughter echoed the room. Someone had told me a joke. My tired eyes transformed to bright lights making me look really happy. And sadly for the vultures, happy people don’t just die. So they decided to become doves. I threw a morsel of pity, some morsels of attitude and they ate out of my hand waiting to become vultures on my bad hair day.

2007-04-13T03:27:00.000-07:00

MATTERS OF THE WALLET

On the outside we are the perfect office family. If it's Diwali, we distribute sweets. On Valentine's day the office looks like a spring in bloom, with flowers and red hearts decorated all over the place. If it's Holi, we are squealing and giggling and throwing colours in the office…right in the middle of computers and polished brown desks. If it's the office party we give the best, booze, dance, DJ, celebrities. So that makes us the perfect office family? Right? It's a yes, if you believe married couples never fight. That money does not matter in life. That Britny Spears is a virgin.

There is this Man who heads all these people. He is well liked and considered perfect and the best in his line of work. His birthday is round the corner. He is throwing a party. And we are giving him a gift, all of us from the great office family. So the White paper goes around, with our names typed neatly. Make your contribution, sign and pass it around. The minimum contribution was Rs 200. Some gave it readily but others started cribbing. They cribbed and cribbed till someone said" Okay guys, give what you want". So what if we can't spare 200 bucks for the boss's birthday. We would surely make his birthday a grand success by eating and drinking and dancing through the night after all we are one big perfect office family.

2007-04-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

SOUR DEAL STINKIN SARDINE

How does one feel after losing a big might have been deal.? Like how I am feeling right now. Till yesterday it was all set,, waiting to happen to give me some minutes of adulterated happiness and today it's gone.

Good Morning Mr ---------------
Some Pleasantries later
So what size are you going for?
Actually , we have decided against it.
Okaaae ( like speaking to an obstinate child) But I felt that it was a perfect fit. Apart from being a great branding exercise, it ensures….blah blah blah
I am sure you feel that way but I'll let it pass this time.

And I am too tired to beg. To lie, to flatter , to flirt ,to beg again.
I am the HDFC call centre executive begging to get somebody take a lifetime free credit card.
I am the salesgirl who walks from house to house selling detergents.
I am persistent walking encyclopedia who rings the bell when everyone's taking an afternoon nap.
I am the beggar woman in the traffic signal.
Well …Almost.

My feelings conflict alternating from irritation to lethargy. The latter getting the better of me with searning heat conspiring to put me to sleep on my messy desk. Tomorrow is the day to close big deals .

2007-03-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Office Bomb

Yesterday they dropped a bomb on me
And made me the official bomb
They gave me a flower, a glass one
White n stark unlike me
Like a wand, it felt in my hand
More like a fairy
Than the office bomb

Clutching the wand like glass flower
Nothing I felt could go wrong
But it did, feelings lie
Wand lay abandoned
On the home showcase
Giving may be five
Wholesome minutes of happiness

I woke up in the morning
Pinched face and slit eyes
Ready for office
In mother’s bathroom slippers.

Some Office Bomb I am.

.......................................................................................
PS: I wrote this a day after Women's day after a bad fight.
I am on top on the world right now..thought i'll post this cos I
didnt want to let go a moment.....even sad.

2007-03-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

Going Ballistic

Yesterday somebody asked me to close my eyes and visualize “This Person” in a business suit, walking tall and suddenly “This Person” is in a beach, in a miniscule bikini and ooops he has tripped over a sunbather ( like there are those in Chennai) and somebody puts something slimy in my hand……. “And this is in your hand. His”, he says. A gooey grey mercury ball. “Yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk” I scream. And every body is laughing including me.

2007-03-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

Holi Ala Re @ Office blueoooming.......
He who laughs the loudest is the happiest or a guy around a bunch of silly gals

yoo yoo da bug is the ladies man ....and a sweetheart

And the thunder thighs goes to...(oooops it's tie)

winners of the 10000 marathon...smmmmmile

sorry vikram....no way ur best pic or poseA colourful goldfish called Rosa

Ladies...any takers?

My secret friend in office...strikin .....a pose.

blinded by a(RO)hitfone a fren( thanks to revised mobile reimbursement)Every dentist's pride....

lost n found .....puppy

tongue n cheek.....

Finally he got a raise......

acute case of madrasplusitis

pancaked n prim

yes my job includes painting the office squint eyed....

Hanky panky in office?

Intense....in a sense is better than bein tense(d)

Yea thanks.....every office chair has it's day

2007-02-25T22:44:00.001-08:00

Someone so Morose

Stick like legs
And a deadpan face
Stuck to a principle
That makes no sense
Like a principal
with an upturned nose
walks around
raping creativity

2007-02-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

Not My Cuppa Coffee

Cold as a forgotten coffee
Putrid as well
I try to stifle a yawn
And even smile
“You look great”, I tell her
An icy smile
Mindless chatter
“I” “I” “I”
And more of “I”
Shut up, I want to yell
And somewhere I stop
Smiling
Nodding
Or trying
We rise to leave
To different homes
No byes or good nights
Freedom at last
From the forgotten coffee

2007-02-16T11:46:00.000-08:00

Madras Plus Party on Feb 10th

Too lazy to write about it as it is a thing of the past now.... Hmmmm.....spent a bomb on the green dress(Sidney Sladen)...wore contacts...hubby said that i looked like an overgrown lizard....but kind of had a blast....whole lot of celebs.....I like vikram better than surya...aarthi chabria is skinny...trisha is tall...actress sangeetha is actually thin n pretty...ok watever...about the party?....called the mother of all parties...but if u really ask me...overrated No I am not.....................high

Smitha, me, some guy n Lena

That's my lizard eyes n Sangeetha hot in brown

A whole lot of us....

2007-02-05T23:36:00.000-08:00

Baby Boom n Hot Mommas (?)

Manju holding harsh, Me with Kamia n Yash,
Bhavna with Rohan and Ashwathi with Manishka

When it rains babies....

My Princess in white...
That's Harsh.....

2007-02-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Please God…..

Today my husband’s best friend died….an accident and just like that. He is some months younger than my husband and his son is 9 months old( younger than my daughter). I am crying thinking about what is wife would be going through right now, for his son who’ll never really know his father. I am crying because I am taking so many people for granted, thinking that they would be around for a long time. I am crying because I am fake…. yesterday I was worrying whether my red tattoo would match with the green designer dress I ‘ve ordered for an office party.

I am crying because I heard him speak to my husband this morning and now he’s gone.

Please god may his soul rest in peace and please give his family the strength to go through this .

2007-01-30T11:10:00.000-08:00

JUST ANOTHER READING?

I was told that we were to attend a book reading that evening. Usually I asked questions ….sometimes just for the heck of it. But this time I didn’t not even ask the customary “What book reading?’ Just nodded my head , I suspect that my mind was elsewhere. So that was how I was at the Taj. First we barged into a book reading like two school children really late for class. Three seconds later, we realize every body else was really old, like almost everybody was sporting silvery hair. It was a reading and a small enactment of RK Narayanan. So we were in the wrong room. We rush again impenitently. I forget that at one point in my life, I read RK Narayanan avidly . In college I had won a masquerade playing a obscure character called Shanthi from Narayanan novel. How soon one forgets things.

We enter the ballroom and though we were technically late, it looked like we didn’t interrupt anything. I stared brazenly at people because this was the first time that I was seeing so many people with garish make up under one roof. Stark white patchy faces and brown throats. Atrocious antique like accessories with big , bigger and biggest stones in all hues. Clinking glasses and inane intellectual conversations. A far cry from the RK Narayanan crowd. Amidst all this was Kiran Desai obscured by photographers of all sizes. She had an easy smile and nice hair, the kind that looked natural and never had a bad hair day. Someone introduced her ….booker prize…..quote …..compliments ….ended in a flourish with a “over to Kiran”.

There stood the woman who wrote a book that won the Booker Prize. A woman who is a successful writer, a celebrity, someone who made a good photo op. Then Kiran Desai squeaked and squeaked and squeaked. She had a squeaky schoolgirl voice. I liked her instantly though I have not as yet read any of her writings. I mentally decide to pick up her “Inheritance of Loss’. An excerpt from her book later, people started asking her questions. And I think of something smart to ask. I curse myself for not reading any of her works.

She answers to someone’s question that her favourite character is Biju from her “Inheritance of Loss”. My husband’s name is Biju too. The name I openly hated as it was the name of my childhood bully too. For once in my life, it felt nice being associated with the name Biju. I also try not to look at the gravity defying cleavage of a woman sitting one seat away from me. I succeed to some extent. ( I assure you that I am straight).

I stand in the long queue waiting to get her autograph with my newly bought IOL, I tell a photographer from my office to click us. I tell her that one day I want to write a book and I hope I am half as good as her. She asks me what I was writing on. I say stupidly “nothing”.
She writes
To Namita…My warmest wishes and good luck in your writing.

And I feel good. So does a drunk socialite who makes a spectacle of herself. But I was sober.

2007-01-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

SLEEPING BEAUTY
Once upon a time or rather in the modern times, there lived a beautiful princess Kamia in the kingdom of Kannur with her grandparents. Princess Kamia’s parents loved her dearly, in fact more than their lives but they were greedy. They wanted the princess to have the best in the world, so they donned their running shoes to participate in the rat race in a polluted place called Chennai where women smoked and men displayed their beer bellies like trophies. This meant that the Princess saw less of her parents and more of her doting grand parents who took care of all her needs. They also kept a nanny to look after Kamia. But alas the nanny was a bad fairy, the one who gave nightmares to naughty children. She cast a sleeping spell on princess Kamia who became Sleeping Beauty .
Read on to find how Sleeping Beauty’s mother transformed her to princess Kamia again…..
A STORY OF THE LOVE OF A MOTHER IN A TIME WHERE WOMEN KEPT THEIR OVARIES SLEEPING….(lol)
A STORY OF THE MAGICAL POWER OF …..( find out)

And what happened to the nanny????
The nanny was sent to a rehabilitation center to cast sleeping spells on the likes of Lindsay Lohan Britney Spears and Paris Hilton so that they sleep through the night and not party and in turn make paparazzi wives happier in life.

2007-01-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

Sleeping beauty .....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

still sleeping and more of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and a tiny snore like a marigold's giggle

I am the proud mamma

of sleeping beauty.....

May be she will wake up with the warmth of my love or with my really scary snore...

I snored and snored in vain.....

Wake up sleeping beauty for your mamma.....

....see the love in my eyes....

she is clasping my fingers...but still asleep

2007-01-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

May be I should kiss her to break the spell...

2007-01-20T06:06:00.000-08:00

....finally the kiss that woke up sleepin beauty...

2007-01-20T06:02:00.000-08:00

....and they lived happily ever after....

2007-01-18T04:38:00.000-08:00

My Mother’s & Mine

My feet is in tandem
With the moving train
Only it’s moving to another destination
And I am rushing to see her
I break into a run
A blur of faces
And there she is

I try to catch her eye
But she is busy
I smile at her
But she is blank
Like an untold lie
Her skin feels against mine
Soft like a feather
Pink against Brown

Her hair a mass of curls
Mine a straightened sheen
I notice the dimple in her chin
A millionth time
I waltz with her
And make a funny face

Mmma, mma , she gurges
And I am forgiven
For not holding her bottle
For missing her diaper changes
For not hugging her to sleep
For wanting to make money
For partying on Saturdays

We belong, My daughter and I

And then I see my mother ….
Mother to me
And mother to my lil one
Beaming at us.

Took a sabbatical , went home to Kamia...gawd am missin her...

2007-01-06T05:14:00.000-08:00

HEIGHTS OF BOREDOM???

Yesterday I tried on the Avon foundation n an red lipstickwell past it’s expiry date ….n I sure looked like a man eater….Wat say?

PS: Wanna be my friend?

2007-01-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

on a real bad make-up day....

2007-01-06T05:10:00.000-08:00

finger chips.....

2007-01-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

i am a vampire that likes disney bedsheets...

2007-01-06T05:06:00.000-08:00

Guess what I had for dinner?

2007-01-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

COOL COOL LOO

On New Year I would like to pay tribute to the two places that have helped me from getting a heart attack, even worse complexion n bloated stomach plus all the gross details.
So this is to the OFFICE LOO and MY HOME LOO for taking all the shit n more (literally).

WHY THE OFFICE LOO?
It is the ideal place apart from the obvious to sneak to if you want some privacy while talking on the phone or bitching about a whole lot of people. You do female bonding . The loo also hones your skills in knowing the behavioural patterns of colleagues. For example you learn that the neat looking prim girl is not so neat after all n it’s a pleasure to use the loo after the extra fat girl. Looks sure are deceptive you learn. You learn the cheap joys of sobbing into the loo tissue, or taking refuge in the loo from a cranky senior.
You learn to be critical about yourself in the mirror. So the next time somebody tells you that you look like shit, you smile n mentally say late news, the mirror told me some time back. And when things get very hectic n you think you might just break a blood vessel, the loo beckons with open arms and gives you ten minutes (or more) of sanity. Sometimes, she even encourages your vanity with a little extra shaft of sunlight through the window n suddenly you are clicking pictures of yourself and you discover angles that can put an ftv photographer to shame. And you even end up looking kind of skinny. Love you darling loo even if people make you not exactly sweet smelling.

WHY THE HOME LOO?
She sees my cranky face n a not very appealing ahem ahem every day of her life not to mention my PMS moody days n vain moments. Thank you and wishing you more patience in the coming year. (yes, I can guess you will need it).

Picture courtesy: Le Officio Loo
Le Home Loo

Model : one nut case

Occasion : New Year.

Happy New year to all and don’t take that loo for granted.

2007-01-01T03:57:00.000-08:00

Say no to fur n yes yes yessssssssssssssss to snow white loo paper...